The last 4 nights I have been awake because my babies were but tonight (at least for the moment)...it's just me...laying in my quiet house imagining I'm sleeping.
Jet lag is the worst.
Shiloh has woken up every night asking for food at 3 AM. It's as if
her body clock is telling her it's dinner time.
I lay on the kitchen floor for 2 hours while she walks around in her 'Purples' and eats bananas. Her 'Purples' are her high heel plastic Disney store shoes that her best friend Grandma Bubbles got her. Grandma Bubbles is my Mom. She earned this name because when she was here in June she always blew bubbles with Shiloh and then when we Facetimed all summer she would tell Shiloh she was going to do bubbles with her when she saw her next.
Now when Shiloh sees her she says Bubbles...so we call her Grandma Bubbles.
Shiloh's purples are her most treasured possession. I'd never seen her get mad at Taliah until she saw Taliah sucking on one of her purples.
Oh and they are purple by the way.
And that's what Cory and I call them. Her Purples.
I feel like I have somewhat given up on myself when we are traveling and I say 'Cory do we have Lamby, NyNy and her Purples?'
Here is she wearing one of her Purples. It took her awhile to get the hang of wearing both of them.
She is also into beads which were also from Grandma Bubbles. And I think Shiloh has a lisp...especially when she says 'purse' and 'beads.' I am hoping she keeps it for at least 5 years.
She is forever changed from her time in America. Which in many ways is a completely different world.
When we were there, I constantly found myself thinking 'Do I really live in Albania? Is that really real?'
It almost felt as if we had never left America. Never said goodbye to our family or packed up our stuff or moved into our house above the bank.
I didn't know it would feel like that.
And now, America doesn't feel real either.
Neither place feels like home honestly.
On one hand they both do, and on the other hand they both don't.
It's a very weird feeling.
Maybe like stumbling through the wardrobe into Narnia.
Or shooting into that place Thor is from...
And I only bring this up because the number one question I was asked when I was in America was 'Is it weird to be back?'
It was weird to hear strangers speaking English. I felt like I was on sensory overload.
It was weird to stop at stop lights. I almost ran one.
It was weird to eat all day anything I wanted. Bagels and blueberries. Chipotle and McDonald's breakfast. That is not a joke.
It was weird to go to a church service. And talk with people afterward.
It was weird to see faces of dear friends that looked the same but then to see the faces of their babies who I have never met.
It was weird to think that I no longer belong there. That I no longer have a small group or a grocery store or a Wednesday play date.
It was weird to watch Shiloh's vocabulary sky rocket as she was only surrounded by one language.
It was weird to remember that I belong in a little city on a lake in a country of 3 million people.
But then what wasn't weird was to remember people. That's when Albania and Pogradec and our house above the bank felt very real.
When I thought of the girls in my bible study. Or Erion and Melodie and their kids. Or the boys that Cory disciples.
The faces of people we have grown to love made it feel very real and close instead of a distant dream.
And now that we are back in Albania, America seems like somewhat of distant dream. But my sisters and brothers and cousins and parents and friends and church family feel very real.
This is scattered because it is now 3:45 AM (I took a short break from this blog to eat two bowls of Frosted Flakes and walk Taliah around the living room) . Or maybe it's just scattered because my brain is always scattered...
BUT. What I am trying to say is that people are real.
That sounds dumb when I say it like that.
But I think I was reminded of that in this whirlwind of a month we have had.
I can feel like America isn't real or Albania isn't real BUT the people in each of those places are very real.
And so when I am confused about where I belong or where home is or if Costco and the butcher are both actual places on this planet, I can remind myself of the people God has given me to love.
Whether that be in America or Albania.
And what is amazing is that in Heaven we will all be worshipping God together, and we will all be truly Home.
So while my children may be a bit confused as they grow up as to the difference between these two worlds we are suspended in, I will remind them of the people that are important to us, and of the One God who unites us through His Son.
It's 4 AM and I'm going to stop here.
Next time, I will tell you more about our time in America and why we were there.
Here's our little world traveler with Lamby and NyNy.
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