Baby in Albania

No...she's not here yet. 

But I wrote a blog the other day while I was waiting for the doctor and somehow lost it...

But it went something like this: 

I have been waiting "10-20 minutes" for the last two hours. 

I'm not really sure what's going on except for that the doctor had been doing "caesareans" all morning. They are never referred to as C-sections. They are sometimes called "incisions." 

About an hour ago he walked up to me and said, "Any problems?" 

"No, everything is good." I said with a smile and started to say more as he responded with: 

"Then you will have to wait." 

And he walked away. 

He is actually a really nice man, a great doctor and he wasn't being rude. Literal translation provides some pretty good one liners. 

When I call him, he answers the phone by saying "Talk to me." 

At my last appointment I was given a paper by a lady and told to "Give it to the girls..." I wasn't sure who the girls were but assumed she meant the nurses. 

I am told to eat chocolate before my ultrasounds so the baby "will make party, party." 

Last week the nurse walked in and all she said was, "Take off your clothes." 

Um....ok. 

Most of the time I find myself strapped or hooked up to something before I really know what is going on. 

They don't know how to explain what they are doing in English, so they just don't. I guess that's more my fault than theirs. I'm in their country. 

I have also had to get used to the fact that everything is "ok." "Ok" means good. It doesn't mean there is something lacking. 

My blood is ok. 
The baby is ok. 
The glucose test was ok. 
My weight is ok. 

Ok. 

The only thing better than "ok" is "very ok" which is only used by certain people in certain contexts. 

Shiloh was born at UCSD. I had a midwife, a doula, and a nurse who had given birth to her son at a birth center. Cory was there the entire time. I walked around for the majority of my labor. I didn't have any pain meds. I guess I was more afraid of having a needle in my back than of the contractions. I'm pretty sure that makes me delusional but oh well. 

In Albania, scheduled c-sections are very common. Men are not present during labor.  Actually, the mother-in-law is the only person present. They have probably never heard of a midwife. And when I say I don't want medicine they will probably pin me down and shove the needle in me...well not really. 

So, in many ways, even though I have already given birth, I have a feeling this experience is going to be drastically different. 

The communication will drastically drop. 
The bedside manner will somewhat be lost in translation. 
The routine procedures are not very similar. 

Is this scary? 

Sure! There have been moments where I have been gripped by fear...

Or "what ifs?" as Cory calls them. But really, that would happen no matter where I was. I'm just really good at thinking of "what if?" scenarios. If there was a "what if?" game, I would win. 

So, 

No matter where I am, it will hurt. 
No matter who is there, she will come out. 
No matter what happens, God is sovereign. 

And I happened to read these words of Jesus in John this morning,

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for the joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21 

A very true, simple reality. 

This really sums up all that goes into child bearing. 

There are many more words that can be said in relation to labor and delivery but this seems to keep the main thing, the main thing. And I am attempting to block out everything else from my mind. 

So, any day now Taliah will be here! 

But for now, we are soaking up these spring days with Shiloh. 

I am very thankful for time to rest and prepare. 

Thank you for your constant encouragement and prayers. They mean so much to us! 

And here is the Queen who's reign is soon coming to an end...and she has no idea. 

New "Firsts"

We are now in Tirana! 

Last pic as a family of 3 at our house in Pogradec!

Officially waiting for the birth of Taliah. We are so thankful for the friends that have let us use their apartment for this time!

All packed up...for who knows how long...

The weeks leading up to our arrival here were crazy and full. 

Shiloh got some kind of virus with a fever that got up to 104. That was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. Definitely of our time here in Albania. 

It is a helpless feeling to not be able to just go to the ER. 

The health care system in Albania and especially in Pogradec is full of corruption, lack of education and lack of funds. 

Every night when we put Shiloh to bed we pray that we he will "take care of her in ways that we can't." 

Its almost easier to trust that God is in ultimate control when you have no other choice. You have nothing else to fall back on. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but its true. 

Then I got what Shiloh had, minus the fever. I'm surprised my brains didn't come out my nose from all the sneezing I did. Or Taliah, she could've come out too. 

Arriving in Tirana was a bit of a shock to our systems. We hadn't thought a ton about what it would be like and when we got here we realized what a routine we have gotten into in Pogradec. 

We know where to buy produce and meat. 

We walk everywhere. We know where everything is. We have relationships. 

I know where to put things away in my kitchen. Everything has a place. 

We have schedule. We have a language teacher. We have a home. 

It is much more of a "small town" feel in Pogradec. 

Now we feel completely out of place. 

Tirana has 1 million people seemingly stacked on top of each other. 

The traffic is insane. There is no parking. Every street dead ends. 

It is chaos. 

It's also a little weird to think of welcoming a baby "home" to someone else's home. 

The day after we arrived here was Easter. 

We have had some pretty amazing Easter's together. 

The year we were in Israel, we woke up and watched the sun rise over the Mount of Olives. 

We went to an Easter service at the Garden Tomb. 

We read the Resurrection account in the middle of Jerusalem. 

Easter is my favorite Sunday of the year. My favorite "holiday." 

He IS risen! The one ultimate reality in my life that truly matters. 

I love the music and the colors and the flowers and the spirit of celebration. 

And I would be lying if I didn't say I love the Easter outfits. 

And this year, I didn't put on a new Easter dress. 

And it felt wrong. 

How embarrassing. 

I've come to associate Resurrection Sunday with a new outfit. 

And with food. 

No honey baked ham here. 

And to top it all off it rained all day. 

We ate noodles with tomato sauce from a jar. 

I sneezed non stop. 

We didn't celebrate with family or even with all the dear people who have become family here in Albania.

We went to a church we had never been to. 

We forgot to get a family pic. 

I kinda felt sorry for myself. 

Of course then I felt guilty and then overwhelmed with what I have been given...

My wonderful husband. My precious healthy daughter. Another one nearly here. 

My Savior. The Word. 

The ministry we are blessed to be a part of. The lives we have watched change. 

The reality of the Resurrection. The truth within the words "He is Risen!" 

And I wanted a new outfit and a Honey Baked Ham. 

We live streamed the Grace Community Church Easter Service and ended the day feeling so encouraged and blown away by the gospel. 

And I don't think I will ever forget this first Easter in Albania. As cliche as it sounds I was reminded of "what is truly important" and for that I am very thankful.

We are starting to figure out life here in Tirana and are getting so excited to meet our new little girl! 

Could be today...could be 2+ weeks. 

Another first here in Albania! 

Shiloh's first time in the Nursery...she was thrilled. New toys and treats? What could be better??