There are so many things I could write about that sometimes I don't know where to begin.
Or rather, I don't have the time to write about everything I could write about. So I pick and choose based on what I know I will want to remember years from now.
The other day I was sitting having a 'coffee' with Shiloh. I'm not sure what I would be doing with her if we lived in America. But here, you have coffee.
I don't know how much I have talked about "coffee" here in Albania but it is a pillar of Albanian culture.
It is basically the ONLY form of communal interaction.
Yes, people visit each other at their houses. But "going for a coffee" is where its at.
All day every day.
They sip on tiny espressos that cost around 40 cents a piece.
And it has become ingrained in our family life as well.
Cory goes for a coffee with boys or Erion or Chad every day.
I go for coffee with girls.
And now Shiloh and I go for a coffee.
And the other day, as we were sitting there I was thinking about how "different" her life has become and will continue to be.
We were outside at a local coffee shop called "Bar Liqeni," surrounded by men smoking and sipping their espressos.
We stand out, obviously. I'm not exactly sure where all the moms and kids are during that time of the day, but they are not out.
I order her a juice. She gets so excited and says "Juice, lummy" a hundred times.
Right before the waiter brings it, we hear the call to prayer coming from the Mosque a hundred yards away.
She tries to say "Faleminderit" or "Thank you" to the waiter but that is WAY to long of a word.
We sit there and drink our drinks and she climbs up and down from the chair over and over again.
Every time I look around at least 5 people are looking at us.
I'm not sure exactly why. Maybe one day I will figure it out.
Watching Shiloh grow up in the midst of two cultures is crazy to watch.
The other day she was counting and said "1,2,3" in English and then "4,5,6" in Albanian.
She is starting to understand bits of Albanian and use certain words.
She stares at Cory and I when we speak in Albanian as if she doesn't know who we are.
When Cory sings in Albanian she says "Erion" because she always hangs out with him church during the worship.
She has started to say "Pafshim (goodbye)" "Te dua (I love you)."
Soon, she will speak Albanian better than we do. She will be correcting us. It is weird to think that our daughter will be so much better at something she will spend so little time on.
She will understand the culture better than we will.
She will be in many ways, Albanian.
But she will also be American.
She will, in essence, have her own culture made up of her own fusion of the two.
I pray that we will know how to parent her as we raise her in the midst of two cultures. And Taliah as well.
But for now, this is her only reality.
She doesn't remember the malls and plastic playgrounds and pumpkin patches in America.
She knows that we go on a walk every day, that she drinks a juice, and that she can climb on the "Big Man" as we call him, by the lake.
I grew up praying out loud.
It was something I never really thought twice about.
God was real and God was there and we could talk to Him.
My parents did a faithful job to ingrain that into me at a young age.
This last Friday at my girls bible study was the first time in my memory I can remember actually being SCARED to pray out loud.
Every week in bible study it somewhat feels like pulling teeth to get the girls to pray out loud.
There are a few who are totally comfortable and pray every week but I am constantly working on the rest of them.
We talk about what prayer is. How God can hear us. It doesn't have to be long. Just tell him thank you...ect.
But, I understand.
Up until a year ago, most of them didn't know who Jesus was. They had never read the Bible.
So I could see that closing your eyes and talking out loud in front of your peers to "God" might feel a bit weird, for lack of a better word.
But on Friday I really put myself in their shoes.
I told them that if I prayed out loud in ALBANIAN they would have no excuse not to pray out loud.
And then I actually got nervous. I don't really get embarrassed but I was so nervous I like covered by my face and started laughing.
It was really weird. Like my face felt warm and I got like an adrenalin rush.
I can count on a few fingers how many times in my life I felt like that.
I don't really know why I freaked out.
I think because when I speak Albanian it's not serious and I don't care if I mess up or if I make them laugh. I mess up every day all day. Every word I say.
But praying is different and I didn't want to mess that up.
I tried to change my mind and tell them I was going to pray in English but they all started yelling at me.
One girl said "Kristine I have never seen you like this before!"
No kidding.
So finally after a good 3 minutes, I pulled myself together.
I prayed a really, short, simple prayer, thanking God for the girls, His word and our time together.
They all smiled really big when I finished.
And then I told them they have no excuse any more. If I can (kind of) talk to God in Albanian, they can talk to Him in their own language.
We will see what happens.
But there is something really amazing about watching someone talk to God out loud for the first time.
There is something really sweet about teaching them what prayer is.
And it bonds them, and us together.
To be nervous in front of each other and overcome that and talk to God together.
I am feeling sad because so many of the girls in my bible study are seniors.
Most of them will leave next year. For Tirana or another city in Albania.
I am feeling the weight of wanting them to be ready to pursue God in a new place, away from people who they know will keep them accountable.
Please pray for them this next year as the make decisions and plan their life.
And pray for me that I would know how to love, shepherd and care for them this year.
