Praying Out loud

I grew up praying out loud. 

It was something I never really thought twice about. 

God was real and God was there and we could talk to Him. 

My parents did a faithful job to ingrain that into me at a young age. 

This last Friday at my girls bible study was the first time in my memory I can remember actually being SCARED to pray out loud. 

Every week in bible study it somewhat feels like pulling teeth to get the girls to pray out loud. 

There are a few who are totally comfortable and pray every week but I am constantly working on the rest of them. 

We talk about what prayer is. How God can hear us. It doesn't have to be long. Just tell him thank you...ect. 

 But, I understand. 

Up until a year ago, most of them didn't know who Jesus was. They had never read the Bible. 

So I could see that closing your eyes and talking out loud in front of your peers to "God" might feel a bit weird, for lack of a better word. 

But on Friday I really put myself in their shoes. 

I told them that if I prayed out loud in ALBANIAN they would have no excuse not to pray out loud. 

And then I actually got nervous. I don't really get embarrassed  but I was so nervous I like covered by my face and started laughing. 

It was really weird. Like my face felt warm and I got like an adrenalin rush. 

I can count on a few fingers how many times in my life I felt like that. 

I don't really know why I freaked out. 

I think because when I speak Albanian it's not serious and I don't care if I mess up or if I make them laugh. I mess up every day all day. Every word I say. 

But praying is different and I didn't want to mess that up. 

I tried to change my mind and tell them I was going to pray in English but they all started yelling at me. 

One girl said "Kristine I have never seen you like this before!" 

No kidding. 

So finally after a good 3 minutes, I pulled myself together. 

I prayed a really, short, simple prayer, thanking God for the girls, His word and our time together. 

They all smiled really big when I finished. 

And then I told them they have no excuse any more. If I can (kind of) talk to God in Albanian, they can talk to Him in their own language.

We will see what happens. 

But there is something really amazing about watching someone talk to God out loud for the first time. 

There is something really sweet about teaching them what prayer is. 

And it bonds them, and us together. 

To be nervous in front of each other and overcome that and talk to God together. 

I am feeling sad because so many of the girls in my bible study are seniors. 

Most of them will leave next year. For Tirana or another city in Albania. 

I am feeling the weight of wanting them to be ready to pursue God in a new place, away from people who they know will keep them accountable. 

Please pray for them this next year as the make decisions and plan their life. 

And pray for me that I would know how to love, shepherd and care for them this year.