Beautiful Dirt

I live here...

But I also live here,

And here, 

View from my window 

There is incredible beauty. 

But it is often masked by a lack of proper sewage. You cannot even flush toilet paper. (this is very hard to remember...)

A lack of proper garbage disposal. Trash lines most of the streets. 

And a lack of order. There are telephone wires everywhere. Criss crossing in between buildings. 

We were told our mattress would be delivered...

And it was...

There are no smog checks. There are no building codes (or at least if there are they are very confusing ones). There are few stop signs. 

Many homes are left unfinished because the owners run out of money. The top floor has no roof. Or the kitchen has no cabinets. 

I will have a gas stove because the electricity goes out at random times. 

So when you see this 

Know that I buy my meat here 

I do not say this to complain. No. I am so thankful to be where the Lord has put us. I am so excited and feel so privileged to be here. 

But I do want to create and portray a realistic picture. 

There is beauty. But there is more dirt. 

We did not move here because of the beauty. 

We moved here because of people. People that don't know Jesus. 

Painting helpers

And when I try a lamb face, I'll let you know...

After for 1 Week

Yes, that's the kind of English we've been hearing lately. We are talking differently too as we try to explain everything in very simple terms. 

Here is Shiloh with all her new friends in church. 

There is not a nursery because babies are always held and there wouldn’t be enough nursery workers to hold all the babies. They are rarely put down and they don’t do tummy time. 

I have also been laughed at for being too rough with her…

And yelled at because she wasn’t dressed warmly enough. Women walk up, grab her feet and start yelling at me in Albanian. I don’t know what they are saying, but I know they are scolding me. I have learned to say “I don’t understand,” and “only English.”  

It is probably 80 degrees but they think that if you don’t literally turn your baby into an Eskimo, they will get sick. 

Here is Cory right before he begins driving through Tirana for the first time. Tirana is technically 2 1/2 hours away. 

Part of the road is covered in pot holes, part of the road is winding through mountains, and on the rest of the road there are cars flying at you ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, so that they can pass the slow trucks. 

Driving here is a whole different ball game. There are lanes but it seems like you can pass on the other side of the road if you feel the person in front of you is going too slow. 

In traffic you’re just not supposed to stop. Everyone assumes that no one is stopping so everyone times it accordingly. I guess. There aren’t many stop signs or lights. Everyone just goes. 

Most of the time I close my eyes and pray. 

Currently, our kitchen is being put in, our walls are being painted and we are finding furniture and appliances. I got a pink fridge and I love it. 

In the meantime we are staying with our friends Erion and Melodie Dielli who are leading the church plant here in Pogradec. We met them 2 years ago when we first came to Albania and Cory and I said to each other that one day, we would love to work with them! They have been incredible hosts and we don’t know what we would do without them. They have a baby girl around Shiloh’s age but we have to try to keep them apart because Shiloh tries to eat everything she touches. 

All of these things are so exciting but are also teaching us and keeping us patient. 

We are recognizing that things in Albania do not go as quickly as they do in America. Which is not wrong, just different. Life goes at a slower pace. 

They have a saying here: “avash avash” and it means “little by little.” It is said with a shrug of the shoulders and it apparently solves all issues here. We first learned that phrase while we were waiting for 3 hours to pick up our car that we thought was already ready to go. 

We are working hard and everything is getting done avash avash. 

Even when we do get settled in our home, and after the summer full of camps, most of our time will be spent studying the language HARD. We will have to wait to disciple, begin bible studies, train, teach and truly get to know people.

But “avash avash” we will learn and our days will be filled with people and ministry. We cannot wait for that. But preparation is vital. We want to begin well. We want to set ourselves up, Lord willing, to have a long and fruitful ministry here. 

It is neat to watch Erion and Melodie and the incredible impact they have. We feel privileged to be serving with them. 

And here is Shiloh at youth group just because I love this picture. 

Here we are!

Here we are! 

We cannot believe it. We keep looking at each other in amazement. 

It's crazy when you spend years planning and preparing and then all of a sudden, within a matter of 24 hours, it becomes a reality. 

We now live in Pogradec, Albania. What????

So, since we've been gone....

1. Shiloh did AMAZING on the planes. Thank you to everyone who was praying. She passed out in the little bassinet. After her and Cory played peek-a-boo for an hour. 

We had 3 flights. The last two were an hour and a half each which was a pain but she was a trooper. Only on the last flight between Vienna and Tirana did she freak out. She was exhausted and screamed bloody murder. All of the Albanians were telling me what to do..."she needs to burp," and "rub her ears." 

One lady grabs Shiloh, puts her on her knees, and bounces her vigorously. Louder screaming ensues. Lady passes Shiloh back. 

Not in America any more. That was the worst of it and Shiloh Belle is already sleeping through the night again so we are all happy. 

2. Our home will probably be ready in about a week and a half...or so. You never quite know. Currently there is no kitchen, and not even a hole for water.... We are also working on fixing the lights, painting some walls, and getting furniture and appliances. We came with almost nothing but clothes so it is as if we are starting over. Which is fun :) 

A view from our balcony. Yes that is a donkey. 

3. We were walking in the bazar the other day. Shiloh was in her stroller. 

A 4 foot ancient woman was walking towards us. (it was a crowded market place)

She was dressed in black with a scarf on her head. 

Her body was almost u-shaped she was so bent over. 

She started spitting...AT SHILOH. Multiple times. And muttering. What, I don't know. 

I started to pull the stroller away. And she continued on. 

Apparently, this is for good luck. Or to keep the "evil eye" away. 

Sweet. 

                                                  A light fixture shop in the bazar

4. EVERYONE comes out an night. Like after 8. You walk along the lake and its packed full of people. Walking. 

And they walk SLOWLY. 

And all over the path. Not on the right or left side. They drive like that too. 

5. We have seen a bunch of the boys from camp last summer. They are SO fun and we can't wait to learn the language so we can communicate better with them. For now, we try to decipher what each other is saying and laugh the whole time. We ran into them last night on our walk. And they are currently helping Cory and Dan paint.

                                                                                    

We are so thankful to be here and cannot wait to be settled, start language training, and then kick of the summer with camps. 

Thankful for your love and prayers. 

**I have also written a bit of "Our Story" and how the Lord has brought us to Albania. It is on the menu bar at the top. 

**More pics also on Instagram. 

Goodbye for Now

We are flying to Albania tomorrow. We are moving there.

For how long?

We have been frequently and constantly asked this question.

For how long will you be in Albania?

It is a difficult answer. It is difficult to explain. Difficult to communicate.

We say indefinitely. Because that is the only way we know how to say it.

What does indefinitely mean?

It does not mean we will never come back. It does not mean we will be there our whole lives.

-It is not because we don't like America and we want a cross cultural experience. Been there done that. I think southern California is the greatest place on earth.

-It is not because we aren't close to our families. This, in fact, is the most heart breaking part. Our families are our best friends.

-It is not because I believe God will love me more if I go overseas to do missions.

It does mean that we are not planning when we will come back. We are not allowing there to be an end to our ministry in Albania in our minds.

Why?

There are many different ways we view this but here are a few:

1. By the time we are semi-fluent or functional (minimum of 2 years) in the Albanian language we will have technically (if you count Bible school) spent 8 years in preparation for the mission field.
3 1/2 years studying the Bible so as to teach and disciple others, 2 1/2 years preparing, training and raising support and 2 years learning the language. That is 8 years! Even if you don't count school it is still 4 1/2 years. That is a LONG time. In that sense once we decided on Albania it became a "career" for us. Missions is what we have trained and prepared to do. We want the best, healthiest years of our life to be devoted to this career, this mission.

2. Because (not if) we are going to learn the language, we want to USE IT. And use it for a long time. It's like a Master's degree. We want to learn it, study it and use it for the Kingdom.

3. Ultimately, this is how the Lord has directed our steps. We believe that he has guided us and led us to Albania. He has given us a passion to see Albanians come to Christ. He has given us a heart for the people. He has affirmed this plan all along the way.

4. Selfishly, I want to be there long enough to see the fruit of our labor. Fruit doesn't grow overnight. It takes years, decades. We want to see this generation saved and grow up to change the country for Christ. I want to watch that happen. I want to watch the Lord work.

5. Finally, I want to pour myself and give myself to this ministry and these people. If I knew it was only for a certain amount of time, or a shorter amount of time, I would have a harder time giving myself FULLY. If there was an out, nothing would be as heavy. If there was an end, nothing would be as vital. But if its "FOREVER" then I really have to figure out how to pour myself out.

Might we come back sooner than we thought? Absolutely. Health problems, children's needs, danger, could bring us home. We might be home in a year! But in my mind, those would be tragedies. Those would bring us back.

There may also be a time where we realize we could be better used somewhere else. Where it seems the Lord is calling us to a different ministry. That would take us away.

We want to be used. We want to serve Christ. We want to follow him as He leads us to Albania.

It won't be easy all the time. It won't be painless or trial free. It won't be all harvest and no hard work.

But it will be what God has. It will be where he has brought us. And it will be full of joy and peace because He has gone before us, and He will carry us through.

As we get on the plane tomorrow, our hearts are full of excitement for all that the Lord will do.

Barefoot Idolatry

I used to idolize missions. 

When I was little I read about how Amy Carmichael’s feet were like leather from walking through jungle paths in India so I walked around outside barefoot and tried to toughen up my feet by rubbing them on the sidewalk.

I was kinda weird. 

I read about Gladys Aylward in China and wanted to be single forever and run an orphanage. 

I read all of Jim Elliot’s journals and Elizabeth Elliot’s books. 

While many other elementary school girls were listening to the Spice Girls and doing the Macarena, I was devouring missionary biographies and writing in cursive in my journal. 

While this passion did not start out wrong, it became an obsession. I began to believe that missions was the best and godliest way to serve Christ. 

When I was 15 I went to Uganda and Kenya and that only solidified my passion for overseas missions. It was harder for me to come home from that trip than it was for me to be in a third world country for 6 weeks. I ate with my hands, used a hole in the ground for a toilet and didn’t look in a mirror. I had never been happier.

                                                    I'm the one in the middle...

After that trip, my plan was medical missions in a third world country. I believed that was the most radical way to serve the Lord. In doing that, I would hear “well done thy good and faithful servant,” when I entered Heavens gates. 

The single, orphanage thing was a phase and even though I was afraid to admit it, I did want to get married and have a family one day. Why was I afraid to admit it? Because if it didn’t happen, I didn’t want to be depressed about it. Does that even make sense? See, I said I was weird. 

My uncle asked me if I would be interested in a guy who didn’t want to do missions. No. Without a doubt, no. 

I was single minded, driven and ultimately mistaken and confused.  

I went to Uganda again when I was 18. This time for 4 months. I lived with a missionary couple who had 4 kids. 

Over those 4 months I learned something that changed my life. 

A wife and mom is a wife and mom no matter where she is. 

Kids need to be fed, bathed, wiped, snuggled and disciplined in every country in the world. Husbands need to be loved, helped, respected, and cherished in every country in the world.

 If I wanted to be a wife and mother, then my “job” wouldn’t be much different if I was in suburban America, or bush Africa. Yes I may deal with different issues and struggles, but my responsibilities and goals and loves would be the same. 

Your laundry needs to get done, your meals need to be made, your dishes need to be washed. 

I also could not dictate my husbands occupation. I could make a list of characteristics yes, but not to the point where any guy who didn’t want to live in a hut in Africa was a no go. What if I married someone who wanted to do missions and then the Lord changed his plans? Did that mean I married the wrong person? 

By the end of those 4 months, my view of missions was completely different. 

I realized that I loved other cultures and languages and unchurched countries, but I could not believe that that was the only way or the best way to serve God. I began to watch the women I knew and saw the common thread that was woven through the life of every wife and mom I respected: Sole devotion, first to Christ, then to their families. 

Their ministry to others was in the context of the church and their own home. They had high school girls in their kitchen, they had small groups at church, they did premarital counseling, discipled women and gave parenting advice. 

You can do that anywhere. 

I could do that anywhere. 

And then I told the Lord I would do anything for Him. If he wanted me to live in inner city and be a pastor’s wife, I would. If he wanted me to marry a business man and be involved in high school ministry, I would.

And if He wanted me to go to the bush in Africa and pick lice out of kids hair, I would. 

But not because it was my plan to have a radical life, but because it was His plan for me. 

As long as I was single, I would pursue missions, but I would also be open to whatever the Lord had for me.

A year and a half later I met Cory Cramer. We were studying in Israel for 4 months with a group from The Master’s College. He wanted to live and die in Washington. 

First pic together: Mount of Olives

But, before I knew that, I noticed that Cory was passionate about God’s Word, loved different cultures, and was disciplined and gave 100% to everything he did. 

He wanted to disciple young men, study the Bible and give God his life. Everything I valued. He was the best person I had ever met, and he did not want to do missions. I could see myself married to him for the rest of my life, and he did not want to do missions. 

I never told him I wanted to do missions either. I don’t know why actually. We talked about everything, but I never told him that.  

After we left Israel, we didn’t talk for a year. (for various reasons that are too long to share in this post) But, a year later when we did talk, Cory Cramer was talking about missions. 

Cory was talking about missions as an option. Not as a passion or pursuit. But as an option. 

We started dating. The plan was seminary, and then whatever the Lord had after that. But seminary first. 

Then we sat in chapel and listened to the President of Josiah Venture (Dave Patty). 

These are the words he said that were bolded in Cory’s mind-DISCIPLESHIP, STUDENTS, LOCAL CHURCH, WORD, TRAINING, EQUIPPING. 

And then a big 1% appeared on the screen. 

1% of the people in Eastern Europe know Christ as their Savior. 

1%. 

Cory’s fists were clenched and his knuckles were white. (He does this when he’s pumped up, is that normal?)

At the end of the chapel, Dave Patty asked everyone who was committed to being a part of Global Missions whether by going or sending, to stand. 

Cory jumped up. 

Now missions was a passion. 

And I knew (I mean of course I didn’t KNOW but “I knew,” you know what I mean??). I knew at that moment that WE were going to be missionaries. 

That was 2 1/2 years ago. Since then we have gotten married, had a baby, raised support and bought one way plane tickets that leave for Albania in 5 days. 

And I will STILL be a wife and mom. 

I will wipe snotty noses. 

I will help Cory Cramer. 

I will have girls in my home. 

And it’s God’s plan. Not mine. He directed through my husband. Not me. 

I cannot wait. But not because I believe I am going to get extra jewels in my crown or because I am serving God in the greatest way possible. 

He took away a weird idol I had, but then he gave me something much deeper and better: a desire to truly do whatever He had for me. 

He has me as a wife, He has me as a mom, and He has me as a light to everyone I’m around. 
Just like every other wife, every other mom, and every other believer. 

That just happens to be in Pogradec, Albania. 

Family Pic in Albania: Shiloh in my belly