Plugging Away

2 weeks has come and gone.

I'm not sure when or how this happened.

Between taking care of this little girl....

And getting ready for this little girl....

31 weeks tomorrow! 

the days and weeks just go by.

Cory and I spent our Valentines dinner talking about the last 8 months in Albania. What we have learned. What we have felt. How we have changed.

We both concluded that what we "feel" more than anything, is humbled.

In many ways, to dive into a new culture is to have whatever "identity" you had, ripped from you.

Our personalities are different...because we can't talk.

Our "gifts" are "masked?"....because we can't speak.

Our confidence is a bit shaken...because we say things like "I like to eat my parents," and "These girls are my brothers." The other day, instead of telling someone I was brushing my teeth, Cory said "Kristine is a tooth brush."

So...everything is a little...off, for lack of a better word.

I daily realize that I am incapable of discipling girls like I want to. I cannot invest in their lives in the way I am accustomed to.

And so I throw parties and make cupcakes, to show them that I love them.

I had a Valentines Day Party last week.

I tried to make pink cookies, but they just turned out flesh colored.

I also tried to make Dark Chocolate Salted caramels but they were more like chocolate covered brown sugar cubes.

I think I should stop.

Anyways, we played games, and laughed and ate and made Valentines. It was a crazy, screaming whirlwind.

At the very end I told them that God loves them with the most real, true, deep love that makes every other love pale in comparison. He wants their love and He wants their lives.

And that was all I could do.

And so it's humbling, because you feel like you aren't giving God what you used to be capable of. You are doing easy, seemingly meaningless things. But I suppose that's what faithfulness is. And I at least want to faithful, even if it doesn't look like much.

And so, with great motivation, we plug away at Albanian.

It is also humbling to realize what I think is of value to God.

In all reality,  he doesn't care how I serve Him if my heart isn't right.

Right now, the students are busy with "The Winter Challenge." It is a six week "challenge" where they are given different tasks to do as a team. They are playing games such as "Bigger or Better," creating skits, and making dessert for the entire youth group.

In recent weeks, our little meeting room, has been PACKED out. Dozens of people standing.

There were probably 120 kids last Friday. And as I looked around I realized that on that particular night, there were only 3 "staff" there. 2 of whom speak enough Albanian to converse comfortably with 2 year olds...yes that's Cory and I.

So, the harvest is plentiful. Anybody want to be a worker? www.josiahventure.com

We realize that after this "challenge" is over, there were probably be empty seats in the room again.

This Winter Challenge is meant to be an evangelistic tool and even one that bonds the group we already have.

And we were saying the other night that all of the work that goes into one event, is worth it even if only one kid gets involved in a bible study or gets involved in church and eventually gives his life to Christ.

Because from "The Christmas Carol" drama we have girls like this.

From summer camp we have boys and girls like these ones.

And all the hard work put into what seems meaningless suddenly becomes meaningful.

All of those kids on Friday night heard the story of the 99 sheep. Or the lost sheep. Or the 100 sheep?

Anyways, ultimately they heard that they are precious to Jesus and that He is the true Good Shepherd of their souls.

So pray, for the new students involved in this Winter Challenge.

A guy that Cory has been discipling, told him on Friday night that he couldn't escape his love for the Bible. He knows that God is tugging on his heart to use him for ministry, but he is apprehensive about how dramatically this changes his life. Pray for this young man.

And our ultimate prayer is that from these students getting saved, leaders would rise up among them to lead this little church here in Pogradec. We pray that the next generation would be one of God fearing Albanian believers in this place.

You Look Like an Animal

Yesterday I was told I look like an animal. 

I was so excited I knew what the sweet, scruffy old man had said, that I forgot to be offended. 

"Did you say animal??? Oh yes, yes!" 

I was buying lemons from him and looked up and he was laughing at me. 

You look like an animal. He said. 

And in all reality, I kind of do. 

I really bundle up when I go outside. So much so that I can't see out of my peripheral. I almost got hit by a car today...twice. 

 My pregnant, animal self. 

Yesterday it was a rainy, cold, snowy, cold day. Actually it's been like that for the last two weeks. 

It had been a couple days and I must have been acting a little stir crazy, or pregnant, or emotional or all of the above because Cory made me leave the house. 

Actually I know I was. I was tired of the weather. Annoyed that Shiloh skipped her nap. Discouraged with Albanian.

How could I get annoyed at her? 

So, I bundled up and decided to just go out and stock up on food. Normally I stop when I can't carry any more, and I head home. But yesterday I just made trips. 

I found strawberries. 
I got some exercise. 
I remembered the people that live around me that have so much less than I do. 

And I came home a much more energized, happy wife and mom to a sleeping baby and a wonderful husband. 

And I am thankful. That even though I don't deserve it, the Lord encourages my heart in the small ways. It is in those little ways that I daily see His care for me. 

And I was challenged, 

to get my act together on the days when I don't get to go out, 
and there are no strawberries, 
and it's snowing 
and my husband is gone 
and my baby is trying to pull my nose off (yes she does this when she gets mad at me...). 

And I realize too that the "hard" days are good. Because they make me more thankful for days like today. 

It was cold out but sunny and beautiful. We went on a walk with Shiloh singing in her stroller. 

In our Albanian lesson, concepts that haven't clicked for months, finally made sense in our brains today. 

The girls bible study was unreal. 

The sweetest girl (we will call her Leyla) and her friend have been coming to our bible study for a couple months now. They first started coming to church because of the play "A Christmas Carol" and have stuck around ever since. 

They both come from Muslim families, and even told my sisters that they were Muslim. 

I have mentioned this before, but in Albania, a kid saying they're Muslim can be much more ethnic than religious. 

So, I didn't know where she was at with the Lord and was planning on talking with her soon. 

In bible study, she always listens so carefully and asks questions and is so engaged. But that could also be because she likes to learn. 

We are going through the book of John. Recently, I have been wondering if I bit off a little bit more than I could chew. 

Their spiritual knowledge is only what they have learned the past 3 months in church. And while John is amazing, I have thought maybe it was a bit over all their heads. Especially since I am speaking English and the bible study is being translated. 

Today we were finishing John 6. 

Jesus literally says "Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him." 

Great. 

It was only 2 years ago that Christianity was recognized as a religion in Albania. 

Before that, it was a cult. 

So in light of that, I was a bit nervous about explaining to these teenage girls why Jesus says that we must eat his flesh. 

The word for "flesh" in Albanian is "mish." When I go to the butcher here, I go to the shop that says "Mish." So, it even translates a little...funny. 

Jesus says "Eat my meat..." or something like that. 

They all looked very confused and extremely grossed out. 

But then we began to break it down. 

Why would Jesus say that he is "the bread of life." 

What do we need to live physically? 

Are we only physical beings? 

What does our soul need to live forever? 

And I showed them from John 6 that Christ is saying he feeds and waters our souls. 

He is giving us a physical picture for a spiritual reality. 

And I keep thinking of Hebrews 4:12 "The Word of the Lord is living and active and sharper than any two edged sword." 

Because they understood. 

And this girl I mentioned above said, "That is beautiful." 

Then my sweet friend who I have mentioned before HERE, asked "What are the last days?" 

Great. Again. 

I was not prepared for this question. And I prayed. 

And I explained that:

Jesus will come back and he will reign on this earth. 

He will have a kingdom and he will be in charge of everything. 

You will be a part of his kingdom if you believe that he is the bread of life. 

And then from Leyla's mouth comes..."What will happen to the people who don't believe in Jesus? Where will their souls go?" 

And I gulped. 

Cory and I were talking tonight about how we didn't realize how much we would have to introduce to Hell to kids. They have actually never heard of it. They don't know what it is. They don't know that people go there when they die. 

"Yes," another girl says, "what about the people who don't believe in Jesus but they pray to God. What about the people in China and India?" 

Why China and India are even on the table when I'm sitting in Pogradec, Albania, I do not know...but apparently those are very far away, heathen places. 

How do I answer that question???

We turned to John 14:6, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man comes to the Father except through me." 

The only way we can be made right with God is through his son Jesus Christ. 

God made the world perfect. He made all people to have a right relationship with him. But man sinned. And because of that we are separated from God. 

The only way to God is through His son Jesus Christ. 

How does that make you feel?

And Leyla says "I am scared. I am not scared for myself because I believe in Jesus for myself. But I am scared for other people. For my family and friends. I am afraid that I will not be with them in the last day." 

And then I just wanted to cry. Amazed that this girl I had been wondering about does profess faith in Christ. Saddened at the reality of her words. Panicked knowing how to answer her. 

And that is why you have to tell them about him. I told her. 

I told her that is why Cory and I came to Pogradec. To help Erion and Melodie to start a church so that everyone in Pogradec could hear about Jesus. 

I told them that salvation is a gift. That many hear but not all believe. 

I told them that the gospel is the good news, but that this is the hard part. 

Jesus promises to save our souls forever. But he doesn't promise that your life will be easy. 

And they all shook their heads as if that resounded with them more than anything. 

And I am again, amazed at the power of the Word of God. 

What I thought would be the hardest passage so far, turned out to be one of the most spiritually deep and real conversations we have had. 

And in light of these biblical truths, nothing else matters really. The weather. Shiloh skipping her nap. Having a hard lesson. 

They all seem like such horrible things to complain about. 

Because Jesus is coming. And he will reign in his Kingdom. And I will be there. 

And I so badly want these girls to be there too. 

Please pray for their families. I do believe the Lord will work through these students, and use them to spread the truth to the mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters. 

We have seen it happen already, and cannot wait to see what else the Lord will do. 

Willing Hearts and Hands

I have alluded to this before, but it is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I am using extremes, but that is for emphasis. This is a generalization. 

That is: the pride with which the Albanian women care for their families and for their home. 

Perhaps I had a warped perspective in America, and I am only realizing that by being Albania. Or perhaps many in America do have a warped perspective that infiltrates the culture. So whether it is me, or American culture in general, I am not sure, but this is what has challenged me in the last 8 months: 

For an Albanian woman taking care of her family is her sole job. Many do take jobs outside of the home in order to support their family. But the goal is one and the same. 

Her mind is entirely wrapped up in this endeavor. 

Every single day she makes (from scratch) breakfast, lunch and dinner for her family. 

Every single day she sweeps and mops her entire house. 

Every single day she does laundry and hangs it out to dry. 

Every single day she shops for groceries and/or home goods. 

She doesn't have a dryer or a dishwasher. 

She does have a wood stove. 

In the fall, she cans fruit and vegetables to get them through the summer. 

Throughout the year, she sews, knits and weaves, rugs, clothes and doilies to give her daughter when she gets married. 

In the summer, she prepares for winter. 

Can you say Proverbs 31? 

And while this absolutely challenges me, there is something greater that has hit home. 

It is the attitude with which she does this. The pride, the joy, the determination. 

She does not view it as a burden.

She does not view it as something that must be done so that she can do the things she really wants to.

It is not a "sacrifice."

She views it as a calling, a mission and a privilege. 

She makes no excuses because she doesn't need to. 

Her home is always ready for guests. 

Her day is always full but she is never stressed by what needs to be done. 

Because she plans, she prepares, and she prioritizes.

And again. It is a calling, a mission and a privilege. 

This convicts me because sometimes I look at my home and the work it takes as a burden not as a joy. 

I think; I just washed this dish, I just mopped this floor, I just changed her diaper. 

More than that, it challenges me to strive to be better. 

To plan for the week better. To be more strategic about my shopping. To be efficient with my time. 

Not to be a perfectionist. Not to find my identity. 

But to do my job well as unto the Lord. 

I understand that every day is not perfection. Obviously. 

But it is the heart and mindset behind it. 

I am privileged to have a home to take care of. 

It is a joy to make meals for my family. 

And if I take pride in my home like these women do, I will naturally strive to be better. 

And ironically I have seen this in a godless culture. Biblical principals in a place where no one has a Bible. 

And of course I knew this, technically.

But it has been amazing and challenging to see it lived out in this way. 

Women's Bibles study last week

In Shiloh with Shiloh

5 years ago (January 17 to be exact) I met Cory in New Jersey on the way to Israel. 

We studied there for 4 months. 

It was a life changing semester. Not only because I met Cory, but also because of everything I learned and saw while I was there. 

Cory and I constantly talk about our time in Israel. Memories, lessons we learned, places we saw, arguments we had...

When we first talked to President of JV about joining JV, Cory described the kind of country he would like to serve in. Not Israel, but like Israel. Like Jerusalem. 

In our memory, Jerusalem is full of chaos and disorder. There are loud shopkeepers barking at you to come look in their store. There are cats EVERYWHERE that look like they've been on tumble dry for 2 hours. The smell of nasty incense and exotic spices fills the air. 

This last week we had the opportunity to go back to Israel. We had the most amazing time. We are so thankful, privileged and blessed. We realize that Israel is a once in a lifetime opportunity and the fact that we have been there multiple times is a gift! 

We went to all of our favorite places in Jerusalem. 

However, it was such a different place than the place of our memories. 

It seemed cleaned. It seemed orderly. It seemed Westernized. 

The shopkeepers were quieter. The smells less offensive. The cats less disgusting. 

And we missed Albania. We missed all the things we hate. We missed the people. We missed the language. We missed the culture. We missed the chaos. 

And that is the Lord. He has given us a love for this place that I can't even really logically explain. And even though I sometimes hate it, I actually love it. And I shouldn't love it. I grew up in Southern California. I am way out of my comfort zone. I am far from what I know. But this place and these people are so dear to me. 

Here is Shiloh in Shiloh. She slept the whole entire time and this was the best pic we got. Shiloh is where Hannah prayed to the Lord for a son. Shiloh is where the Ark of the Covenant when Israel came into the Promised Land. Shiloh is where Samuel heard God's voice. Her name has many meanings but the one that we love is "That which belongs to Him." 

This is at the Dead Sea with my sweet sisters. I had the best time with them and it was so fun to watch them with Shiloh. She LOVES them. The weather here was also amazing and we were able to thaw out a little bit. 

The Mount of Olives is behind us in this picture. It's crazy to think that Shiloh won't remember any of this. She was however, a TROOPER the whole time. She barely napped, ate lots of pita, and was strapped to Cory's back the whole time. She oohed and ahhed at everything she saw and loved being on the go. She is seriously better behaved when we are out than when we are home. 

Taliah was also a trooper and we are 27 weeks today! This pregnancy is flying by. 

Shiloh loved all the colors in the Old City market and pointed at everything she saw. 

Here they are...best buddies. Shiloh's word of choice right now is "GO" and she says it when we sing "Let it Go." Over and over again in a sing-song voice. She sang in Cory's ear the whole week "Gooo, goo, goo," in her cute little voice. 

We are so thankful for the time we were able to spend in Israel. It was encouraging, refreshing and a blessing to be with my family. There are more pics on my Instagram as well. 

Now, we are back home and in the swing of things. Well, Shiloh has to relearn how to play by herself...which is so fun. 

Today, Cory had some boys over to play Settlers of Catan and he taught them and played the game speaking only Albanian! 

In my girls bible study today we talked about the man who was healed at the pools of Bethesda and it was special to be able to tell them I had just been to that very place! 

The next few months before Taliah comes, we are kicking our language lessons into high gear and having our teacher come 5 days a week. Here we go! 

As we ate dinner together tonight, we were talking about how thankful we are to live here, how much we love these people and this place, and how excited we are for what is to come! 

Frozen

There is no theme or story to this blog but I want to keep up even for my own documentation. I'm sure that in years to come I will look back on these early posts with thankfulness and embarrassment and it will remind me of the journey the Lord has taken us on. 

*I can see my breath in the bathroom. Yes it's that cold. 

I had to unfreeze our water pipes this morning because no water would come out of the faucet. You do this by boiling water and then dumping it on the pipe outside. Yes it's that cold. 

If you had told me I would be doing that I would have said "Not a chance." Normally, my sweet husband would do this for me, but he has been sick for two days. 

I watch out my kitchen window during the day because people slip on the ice repeatedly. I know that's bad, but it's actually hilarious. Watching people fall. It's one of those things you shouldn't laugh at but can't help it. Like when your baby screams in your face with her fists clenched...her eyes so big that they look like they'll pop out. 

I found out today from the girls in my bible study that their schools are not heated. 

Sometimes they are heated for only 1 hour a day. I was shocked. They literally sit in class all day with their coats, gloves, scarves and hats on. They can barely write. 

The buildings are made of cement which is almost worse than being outside. The sun helps it a bit when you are outside but inside it's just cold, stagnant air. Like a freezer. 

I know that there are many places in America that are colder than this. But the difference is that nothing is heated here. 

You don't walk out of your heated house and get into a heated car and run into a heated store. 

They walk out of their semi-heated one room, into the cold, where they walk, sometimes miles, to the store, that is not heated. The people who work in the stores are literally faceless because they are so bundled. 

There are women who sit outside ALL day selling carrots. And there were days last week where it was 19 degrees. AND there is a wind chill because we are on a LAKE. So basically it's like -400 degrees. 

The funniest thing about all of this is that I HAD NO IDEA. 

I think the Lord knew it wouldn't help me to know. Now I am just kind of rolling with the punches. Everyone around me is acting like it's normal and they actually are way worse off than me too. 

I don't sit outside all day and sell green onions for 10 cents. 

I don't sit in school all day watching my breath. 

I don't even have to put firewood on the fire because we have a pellet stove. 

And I understand there are much worse things than being cold...but not really to me. I mean I'm exaggerating, but not. 

So I don't hate it like I thought I would mostly because I feel so thankful for what I do have. I really have no reason to complain and I'm actually really surprised that I can honestly say that. 

**Albanian is going well. I hear more every day. Except I have essentially been saying all week, "These boys are my sisters." No wonder everyone looks at me funny when I introduce the twins. 

We have had the best time with them and I'm so thankful that I've gotten to watch their first overseas experience. Cory has had a fever and Shiloh has been a snotty faucet but I'm so glad the twins have been here to help me and keep me company. 

***I was thinking again today about the question, "What do you do every day?" Or "What do your days look like?" 

A very valid question for a missionary wife and mom to be asked. 

The last two days I have been taking care of my sick family. 

I have wiped Shiloh's snotty nose too many times to count. I have shoved nasal spray in her nostrils while the twins hold her arms down. 

I have made chicken noodle soup which took a long time because I had to roast the chicken and then make the broth. It better be as good for you as everyone says. 

I have made cookies for bible study and had women and girls in my home. 

I have done laundry and washed dishes and wiped up the floor because Shiloh likes to throw her food to indicate she has finished. 

I have thawed pipes and flipped the electricity back on and restarted the washing machine. 

I haven't done anything really great or important or "spiritual." 

I've been a wife and a mom. And it's been very consuming. 

So many days look like that. No matter where you are. 

And I was reminded of the freedom that comes from obeying the simple commands of Jesus. 

It is freeing to know that I am being faithful to the Lord by taking care of my family, even if it means I haven't studied Albanian or spent time with any girls. 

7 months ago we left Seattle to come to Albania. I cannot believe how full these months have been. I wouldn't trade them for anything and I feel so privileged and blessed. 

****There are times where I don't feel so privileged and blessed....like New Years Eve. 

We were in a war zone. 

Everyone lights off their own fireworks for 3 hours. Like the sparks (or whatever they are called) were actually hitting my kitchen widow. They launch them off their balcony straight at other buildings. 

Our house shook. 

Actually this has been happening all month. It took me a week to figure out what was going on. I was wondering who was shooting a gun all day. 

But it was nothing like New Years Eve. 

I was actually mad at them. I was trying to sleep (yes I go to sleep before midnight on New Years Eve, always have, probably always will) and I was thinking "What is wrong with these people????" 

This is NOT fun. This is NOT a celebration. This is NOT ok. 

Of course my brother Kyle thought it was awesome. (Yes he visited as well and we had THE BEST time and I've been completely spoiled this Christmas). 

So...I am kind of like a roller coaster. In love with Albania and their traditions and then the next day wanting to just yell at everything. 

I actually had the idea of getting an air soft gun for next year to pelt the little boys outside my house who light these "pupafkas" while Shiloh is sleeping. 

*****Today with the girls we talked about the Samaritan woman at the well. They were impacted by the fact that Jesus knew everything about the woman but still spoke to her and offered her living water. It's amazing to watch them hear these stories for the first time. 

On Thursday, we will head to Israel for a week with my family and a group from one of our supporting churches in California. We are SO excited and so thankful for this opportunity! 

Israel is our favorite place in the world. 

We met there. We spent 4 months studying there. 

And there is nothing like walking where Jesus walked and seeing the Bible in real life. Literally nothing like it.

5 years ago we met there. It's amazing to think about all that has happened since then! 

******Here we are, looking so happy and cozy...