But I wrote a blog the other day while I was waiting for the doctor and somehow lost it...
But it went something like this:
I have been waiting "10-20 minutes" for the last two hours.
I'm not really sure what's going on except for that the doctor had been doing "caesareans" all morning. They are never referred to as C-sections. They are sometimes called "incisions."
About an hour ago he walked up to me and said, "Any problems?"
"No, everything is good." I said with a smile and started to say more as he responded with:
"Then you will have to wait."
And he walked away.
He is actually a really nice man, a great doctor and he wasn't being rude. Literal translation provides some pretty good one liners.
When I call him, he answers the phone by saying "Talk to me."
At my last appointment I was given a paper by a lady and told to "Give it to the girls..." I wasn't sure who the girls were but assumed she meant the nurses.
I am told to eat chocolate before my ultrasounds so the baby "will make party, party."
Last week the nurse walked in and all she said was, "Take off your clothes."
Um....ok.
Most of the time I find myself strapped or hooked up to something before I really know what is going on.
They don't know how to explain what they are doing in English, so they just don't. I guess that's more my fault than theirs. I'm in their country.
I have also had to get used to the fact that everything is "ok." "Ok" means good. It doesn't mean there is something lacking.
My blood is ok.
The baby is ok.
The glucose test was ok.
My weight is ok.
Ok.
The only thing better than "ok" is "very ok" which is only used by certain people in certain contexts.
Shiloh was born at UCSD. I had a midwife, a doula, and a nurse who had given birth to her son at a birth center. Cory was there the entire time. I walked around for the majority of my labor. I didn't have any pain meds. I guess I was more afraid of having a needle in my back than of the contractions. I'm pretty sure that makes me delusional but oh well.
In Albania, scheduled c-sections are very common. Men are not present during labor. Actually, the mother-in-law is the only person present. They have probably never heard of a midwife. And when I say I don't want medicine they will probably pin me down and shove the needle in me...well not really.
So, in many ways, even though I have already given birth, I have a feeling this experience is going to be drastically different.
The communication will drastically drop.
The bedside manner will somewhat be lost in translation.
The routine procedures are not very similar.
Is this scary?
Sure! There have been moments where I have been gripped by fear...
Or "what ifs?" as Cory calls them. But really, that would happen no matter where I was. I'm just really good at thinking of "what if?" scenarios. If there was a "what if?" game, I would win.
So,
No matter where I am, it will hurt.
No matter who is there, she will come out.
No matter what happens, God is sovereign.
And I happened to read these words of Jesus in John this morning,
"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for the joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21
A very true, simple reality.
This really sums up all that goes into child bearing.
There are many more words that can be said in relation to labor and delivery but this seems to keep the main thing, the main thing. And I am attempting to block out everything else from my mind.
So, any day now Taliah will be here!
But for now, we are soaking up these spring days with Shiloh.
I am very thankful for time to rest and prepare.
Thank you for your constant encouragement and prayers. They mean so much to us!
And here is the Queen who's reign is soon coming to an end...and she has no idea.
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