The Hard Part

"This is the hard part." 

We often talk about what is actually "hard" about living here in Albania. 

Although I tell you about buying bloody meat and the heating system exploding and constantly being confused at what is going on around me, those things are not "hard" as much as they are humorous.

They are just life. The life that we have chosen and ultimately the life that God has called us to. 

If we were in America there would be thousands of little things like that as well. They might look different but there are struggles no matter where you live and no matter what your life mission is. 

They are just life. 

We laugh about the little things. The growing pains of learning and living in a new culture. 

The frustration of acclimating to a new culture is far outweighed by the joy of the ministry here. 

We can't imagine being anywhere else and we feel so priviledged. 

What IS hard... 

Is when everyone is together. 

Thanksgiving when all the girls (mom, aunt, grandma, sisters and cousins) are all together cooking and I'm not there to cook with them. We always tell the same stories and make fun of each other every time we are together. I think we laugh harder every year and this year I so badly missed laughing with them. 

It's when one of my best friends is getting married and I'm not there to stand beside her as she says her vows, or to help her prepare, or to take care of the last minute details. 

It's when Cory's family goes to Disneyland for his mom's 60th Birthday and we aren't there to celebrate and tell her how special she is to us. 

It's not the day to day life that I miss as much because in all reality I wouldn't see them every day anyways.

It's the times when every one is together for celebration. It almost feels wrong that we aren't there. 

That is THE hard part. 

As in the only thing that is hard, really. 

Not going to Trader Joe's once a week, is nothing compared to this. 

And it's easy to forget when everyone is going about their busy, daily life. But when we see everyone together we say, "Oh ya, that is the hard part." 

And even still, 

The knowledge that we are in the center of God's will brings peace that passes understanding. 

The reality of watching Christ change lives and being a part of His work brings incredible joy. 


We are watching Christ transform people even as we approach this Christmas season. 

THIS girl told me the other day when we were getting coffee, that she is different, people are telling her she is different, and that it's because the Holy Spirit is working in her. 

Her life circumstances haven't changed. 

She still has a very difficult home life.

 But she has gone from a girl who barely smiled and seemed scared of her own shadow, to one that has joy and confidence and translates for me in the girls Bible study. 

The other day a guy who Cory has been discipling and who has been working through his faith very seriously said "the world is hostile to us," speaking of believers. Cory asked him if he'd been listening to MacArthur and this boy said he's been listening to two MacArthur sermons a day! He is in high school! He is beginning to realize what it means to fully give your life to Christ and it is exploding his worldview. 

And when I can't cook with my sisters, or be in my friends wedding, or epically celebrate Cory's mom's birthday, I think of these kids and these words that come out of their mouths. 

Because I wouldn't want to miss those for anything. 

I'm so thankful the Lord has blessed us with family and friends that love and support us. That encourage us and challenge us. That don't make us feel guilty for leaving them or bad about taking our babies away from them. They are constantly giving to us, praying for us and loving our babies from afar. 

So, while we miss those we love deeply, we know that that is the hard part. The part that we have to give to the Lord and trust him with. 

Everything else is pure joy. 

Also, this weekend marks 6 months in Albania for the Cramer's! Cory made a little video for our update and if you didn't get to see it HERE it is. Just to thank those who love, pray for and support us, here is a little picture of our life! Thankful for you all! 

To Be Known...

In American culture, we talk a lot about wanting to "be known." We want people to know us, who we are, and what we are about. 

Now, if you are having a hard time being known...please come move here. 

Not only will you be able to help us with a work and a harvest much too great for 2 people, but you will also be known. 

For instance...

I was walking in the street the other day (not very close to our house) and I saw a bunch of really cool wooden crates that had apples in them. I have been looking for a basket to put our Albanian books in and haven't been able to find one. 

I was pointing them out to Cory when a man said "Can I help you?" 

I was shocked. Not only that he spoke English but that he asked me if he could help me. I don't remember the last time I heard that. Normally its more like "what you want?" if its English at all. 

Ummm...yes. I proceeded to ask him about the crates. 

They were his he said. He made them he said. He didn't sell them. 

I asked if he could make one for me. 

In my peripheral I saw a lot of people looking and pointing at me saying "American, American." 

"Sure, I will make one for you and bring it to you tomorrow. I know where you live." He said. 

"Oh great ok! Thank you! Yes tomorrow is perfect." 

I was so excited about getting the crate that it took me a minute to realize he knew where I lived. I had never seen this man before and I wasn't in the vicinity of our house. 

"You know where I live?" I finally asked. 

He pointed in the direction of our house. "Yes, yes I know. I will drop it off at Rudi's. You know Rudi." 

Yes I know Rudi. He owns the shop across the street from our house. 

"Well great! Thank you!" 

"Have a nice day." He said. I haven't heard that in a long time either. 

That's not the first time a complete stranger has told me they know where we live. 

In reality, most people that live in the city center know where "the American's" live. 

Pogradec is not massive but the city and outlying villages have about 40,000 people. 

I could look at this one of two ways. 

The first way is how I looked at it when Cory was gone for the night and I was alone. Fear. I slept with a knife by my bed. Not that that would help me whatsoever, it was more the thought of it. That's embarrassing. Everyone knows where I live. I am an American in a country of nominal Muslims. If anyone wanted to find me, they could. Very easily. 

The second is how I should look at it. Opportunity. Everyone knows where we live. If they need help, they know where we live. If students hear about our bible studies and want to come, they know where we live. If I want a wooden crate for $4 from the man on the side of the road, he knows where we live. 

So, if you're looking to be known...

www.josiahventure.com

Also, we will be sending out an update on Thanksgiving which includes a video Cory has made that shows a little bit of our life here in Albania! 

If you would like to receive our email updates, sign up HERE.  


Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your friends and family! We are so thankful for all of you! 

And here is Shiloh Belle with some pants on her head...

A Baby Girl and a Girl Fight

Some Bible Study girls :)

My girls bible study is this beautiful mess of conversation and confusion.

Last week, I was waiting for all the girls to come and all but two of them were late. I couldn't figure out what was going on and then I looked out my balcony window and saw a crowd of messy hair buns and pony tails in the street. Most of them were my girls and the rest were ones I hadn't seen before. 

I asked the two who had already arrived what was going on.

Apparently, someone had created a Facebook page entitled "The *Nice Girls* of Pogradec." 

Except it didn't actually say "Nice Girls." It said a bad word. Like the opposite of "Nice Girls." 

Everyone tracking? 

And on the Facebook page were the names and pictures of a bunch of the girls in my Bible study. 

So, that day, right in the street, my girls were waiting to meet with the girl who *they thought* had done it. The girl hadn't actually admitted it but "her best friend had." I was thinking she wouldn't show up but then I heard SCREAMING.

I looked out the window again and the huddle of heads was growing. 

Instinctively (because I obviously wasn't thinking through what I was doing) I put on my coat and boots and walked down the street. 

Straight into the middle of screeching Albanian. 

I had no idea what was being said but as I walked up I saw one girl from my bible study about to smack the Facebook Page Maker Girl. 

I told you I wasn't thinking because I just pushed my way into the middle and started speaking English and they all stared at me and silenced themselves (for 98% of the Albanians we know, we are the only Americans they have ever met)...

"Hi, I'm Kristine, what's your name....do you speak English?"  I heard nervous laughter and the girl told me her name which had way to many constants and syllables for me to remember what it was. 

She didn't speak English. Apart from knowing the answer to "what is your name?" 

So, I told one of my girls to translate for me and I said..."If you say you didn't do this, I believe you (my girls gasped and she teared up), but if you did do this, please take the Facebook page down. If you did not, I'm sorry we bothered you and we are going to go now." 

I turned around with my arms spread out and literally swept my girls up the hill towards my house. I ended up with some extra girls at bible study that I had never seen before. 

We are going through the book of John and that day I had prepared for us to read and study Jesus' first miracle and the cleansing of the Temple. 

I had a feeling that wouldn't really resonate with them on that particular day so I decided to have them open to Matthew and read the passage in Chapter 5 about loving your enemies. 

They were all very upset about what had happened and one girl told me she'd been crying all night. They felt that their reputation had been tarnished. 

They hadn't heard anything about loving your enemies before and it was very difficult for them to grasp. They even asked to read through it a second time. 

As it ended I shared with them about Christ's love for us. How He forgave us when we are so undeserving and how we are incapable of acting like Christ without His help. 

I don't know how much they understood or took to heart. It is crazy to say these things to girls with absolutely no spiritual context. 

For me to say it's not ok to rip this girls hair out by the roots and scratch her eyes out with your long fake nails, was an absolutely revolutionary concept to them. 

The page has since been taken down, everyone seemed to forget about it by the next week, and we continued with our bible study. 

I love being a part of these girls lives. I love watching their confused faces as we read about loving your enemies. I love watching light bulbs go on in their brains. I love thinking about the fact that many of them first heard about Jesus this summer at camp. 

It's hilarious and weird and awesome. Please continue to pray for these girls as we talk about who Jesus is and what He has done for them.

At coffee with some Bible Study girls

In other news...

I don't know where the last 2 1/2 weeks went. 

A combination of language learning, meal cooking, bible studying, Shiloh caring and doctor visiting. 

*We found out on Tuesday that Baby Girl #2 is on the way! Her name will be Taliah Pauline. Taliah means "Dew of God" and Pauline was my Grandma's middle name. We cannot wait to meet her in April! Shiloh is excited too. 

**That same day Shiloh took her first steps and has since been toddling further and further. She gets a big, proud smile on her face right before she crashes on the carpet. We LOVE watching her grow and after she goes to sleep at night we just sit in bed and watch videos of her. 

***After being here almost 6 months, I feel like I am beginning to grasp how to meal plan and cook. The only disaster I had last week was when I tried to make tortillas. Twice in one night. The first time with gluten free flour and they turned out like flubber. Then, I tried with regular flour and it was like a ceramic paste that got stuck in my wedding ring for days. We just ate a pile of beans and meat without tortillas. Better for us anyways right? Actually, that was not the only disaster. I also somehow destroyed some Jam Thumbprint cookies I was making for the boys bible study and zested a chunk of my thumb off trying to make Lemon Cupcakes last minute. That would have happened to me in America too...so I guess it doesn't count. 

****Language learning continues every day and right now we are trying to grasp why each noun has about 15 different endings, why each verb has about 40 different endings and how to translate the verb "to like." It doesn't actually mean "to like." It's more like "is pleasing for me," so it changes the structure of the sentence and you can't translate it literally. Last week our tutor told me she understands that it's hard for me because your brain doesn't work when you are pregnant...I wasn't sure how to take that. 

Here are some noun endings...

We are so thankful for each passing day here. All that we are learning and experiencing blows us away. 

It was almost exactly 3 years ago that we sat in chapel at Master's and heard about Josiah Venture and Albania for the first time. We were dating and open to whatever the Lord had for our lives. 

The ride we have been on the last 3 years is one what that we wouldn't trade for anything and we are overwhelmed by the Lord's guidance in this process. Thank you thank you for being a part of it! 

And here's Shiloh Belle on a swing in Tirana...

Starting Over

In many ways, we feel like we are starting over...at life. At everything in life. And this is not entirely true, but in many senses it is. 

Our vocabulary is that of a 2 year old. We are laughed at when we speak, like a two year old. We can't pronounce letters, like a two year old. We can't communicate what we want to say, like a two year old. 

I thought the police man that pulled me over was telling me he lived in Pogradec. 

I smiled really big and said "Oh great!" nodding my head like I understand Albanian. I later found out he told me if I was in Pogradec I would have gotten a ticket...He was probably very confused by my response. 

Our cultural understanding is that of maybe a 5 year old. There are some things you universally do and don't do...or maybe that's not true either. It is a compliment for me to hear I am fat. 

Our senses are constantly being bombarded like that of an infant. 

Every smell is new and overwhelming...kind of like your first time at Disneyland...but the opposite kinds of smells. 

Every sight is shocking, like a pile of skinned dead cows in the back of a truck being delivered to the butcher...your butcher. 

Every taste is new and sometimes unwelcome to your tastebuds...like pickles. 

Every sound is unfamiliar and you're constantly wondering what's going on outside. "What's that???" Oh, it's a goat. 

Sometimes, while Shiloh is playing, she'll just sit up on her knees, clench her fists, contort her face, and give an intense, long grunt. I feel like that's what my brain is doing 24/7. 

My brain is going back to infancy at a time when it wasn't programmed for it. 

It's like a volcano always on the verge of eruption. 

My greatest victory this week was when I was walking in the street and I knew what two ladies were saying...

One said to the other, "Do you want a banana?" 

Yes, that's all. 

I was thrilled.

And in that moment I realized all the things I am telling you right now. 

The reality of starting over. 

And this bleeds into the spiritual aspect of life here as well. 

I have a girls bible study every week and we are going through John. This week we took a break to have more of a hang out time. We painted nails and did make up and I curled hair for an hour and a half. 

The room was so loud. Girls laughing and talking and shoving for a spot in the mirror. 

Normally, I'm the one being told to quiet down, or calm down, or the one being laughed at because I'm constantly embarrassing myself. 

But yesterday, I was almost silent. 

Not because I wasn't thrilled to have all those girls in my house, or because I wasn't having a blast. 

But because I couldn't understand much. And I could say even less than that. And it was too loud to try to have a one on one conversation and pick up some words. 

At the end I talked for a little bit about beauty (yes with someone translating). We read 1 Peter 3 and I shared with them that was is most important to Jesus is that we have beautiful hearts. Souls. The part that will never die. 

And I realized how little I actually know them. I know many of them were saved this summer. I know they just heard for the first time last week that the Holy Spirit lives in the lives of believers. 

But I don't know their deepest struggles. I don't know what gives them pain. I don't know what they are proud of. I don't know what they are afraid of or excited by. 

I have spent years in America discipling girls. Learning how to counsel in different kinds of issues. Learning how to get to the heart of a matter. Learning how to invest and care and be consistent. I know how they think. I know their worldview. I know what makes them tick and why the do what they do. 

But now, I am stuck. I can't really do any of those things to the degree I would like to. There are a few girls who know English really well and I feel like I have been able to invest in their lives but even that is to a different extent. I can't talk to them in their heart language. 

And that's why we are giving our lives. 

So that in 3 years I can speak and understand Albanian. So that in 4 or 5 years, maybe I can completely lead a bible study in Albanian. So that in 10 years I feel comfortable discipling and counseling girls and women. Give or take a few years for all of those. 

Is that worth it? Is it worth it to completely start over your life when you could have ministered to people who's language you knew, and culture you knew, and worldview you were a part of? 

While I was curling hair, I kept thinking of the verse He who is faithful in little will be faithful in much. 

I want to be faithful in much. I want to invest in their souls. So right now, I will curl hair and make carrot muffins and study Albanian until my brain is raw. I will do a bible study with someone translating. And I will love them with Christ's love in every tangible way I can think of. 

So we will learn. And we will stay. So that one day we don't feel like 2 year olds. So that one day we can invest in their souls. 

Right now we are building a foundation. We are laying the groundwork. We are preparing and collecting the materials for the building. Actually, God is doing that. And even though He doesn't need us, He is letting us be a part of it. 

It's tiring. It's a lot of work. It's confusing and painful and exciting and beautiful. 

And it's totally worth it.

Fall and Not Enough Food

The cold air and the brown trees definitely signify it is Fall. Or winter. To me, anything other than summer might as well be winter. I mean what's really the difference. Cold is cold is cold.  

Technically, it is fall. The leaves are falling. What was green is turning orange and brown. The drive to church is beautiful. Fields and mountains of gold. Our pellet stove is on most of the day and we are so thankful that we have the heating all figured out and working. Everyone is bundled up and some people are unrecognizable. 

But, there are no fall decorations in the shops. There are no pumpkin patches with corn mazes and apple cider. There are no French's Fried Onions and Priscilla's Yams displays when you walk into the grocery store. There are no Pumpkin Spice Lattes or Maple Scones. (Can you tell I think about food a lot?) 

I have realized the things I thought I didn't care about, I actually did look forward to. Subconsciously of course. It's being so far removed that make me reminisce. Or maybe I just miss the food. That's probably it. 

And if I lived somewhere where it was perpetually warm I wouldn't reminisce because I would be so happy about the heavenly weather. 

It's the cold+the absence of "fall" that makes me feel a little bit like something is missing.  

But, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. So it's this strange feeling of tension. Kind of missing what you've left behind, but not enough to want to return to it. 

So, I will make pumpkin muffins and eat a lot of mandarin oranges because apparently they are in season right now. They are amazing and dirt cheap. We eat about a kilo a day. There are pumpkins everywhere also but the Albanians don't use them for anything. They don't cook with them at all. I keep making pumpkin desserts for bible studies and they are all weirded out and then blown away that you can't taste the pumpkin. 

One thing I am loving about this season is that life, in many senses, has slowed down. Our days are full but it is more of a routine than the psychotic roller coaster of the summer. There are consistent bible studies. There is much more time to study Albanian. There is time to sit down and eat dinner together. There is time to figure out how to cook with different flavors. There is time to pour into the church ministries. There is time to catch up with our families and friends. We have people over for dinner. 

*There is time to begin understanding this culture. Like tip of the iceberg begin. The more we know, the more we feel that we are in a fog. 

A veteran missionary here recently told Cory that Albanian culture, at it's core, has the shame and honor values of an Eastern culture, but they are masked by an Western face. 

Meaning, honor is a massive part of this culture but when your honor is tarred it's not necessarily public displayed. It is hidden in order to save face. We are beginning to learn what this means. We are seeing this as we build deeper relationships, run into relational issues and attempt to love people with Christ's love so as to melt away their chains of guilt. 

**Last night we had some boys from Cory's bible study over for dinner. 

Cory's Bible study-Going through Romans 

I thought 2 were coming. When 4 walked in the door I was a little stunned.

I had made 4 burgers. Cory's all time favorite meal is a blue cheese, bacon burger. So we thought we would give them a little taste of America. 

Anyways, I was currently cooking 4 burgers! Not 6! I made fries for 4 people, not 6!

The best part was, I thought Cory would be surprised too. 

Then my sweet husband said, "I told you 4..." 

I think I said "go away," but I'm not sure. 

I actually panicked. I don't really know why. Before I did something about it, I freaked out. At first I legitimately didn't know what to do. 

Finally, I started scooping up the hot, raw ground beef from the skillet and forming it into smaller burgers with my bare hands. 

I raced across the street to the bakery and bought the last bun to cut in half for Cory and I. 

I partly felt bad that he was going to get a smaller version of his favorite meal but not completely. 

"Are you mad at me?" He came up and whispered as I tried to finish dinner while the 4 boys played with Shiloh who was scowling at them. 

"....I'm trying not to be." I mumbled. My poor husband. At least I told the truth? 

I knew it wasn't his fault. I knew he had probably told me and I didn't remember. I just had to be mad at something, or someone I guess. 

The thoughts that run through your head when you are mad and panicked are kind of horrible but actually revealing. 

This wouldn't happen in America. Uh, that's not even true. 

I'm just trying to serve people here God, you could have made sure we didn't miscommunicate so I wouldn't have a bad attitude. Yes that's perfectly logical. 

It's awful and embarrassing but it's true. 

And then I realized I could let this ruin the night for me. I could be quiet, and mad at my husband and panic about the food. Or, I could serve dinner and sit down and love the boys that were at my kitchen table. I could make it fun and ask them questions or I could be quiet and boring and make my husband miserable. 

I didn't want the night to be ruined. I didn't want to be a bad testimony. I really didn't want to be mad at Cory because he is amazing and obviously thought he had told me. I knew that one of the boys is wrestling through Christianity. Doubting if it is true but wanting to believe. 

So thank the Lord by the time we had sat down for dinner I had fixed my horrible attitude. We had a great night. We laughed really hard and got to know the boys better. I was so glad all 4 of them came. The 2 "extras" were the other 2 boys brothers and they will be around for a long time after their 2 older brothers go to college.

And I'm thankful that the Lord revealed to me that sometimes, even though I think I don't, I do compare Albania to America. Even though I love it and I'm thrilled and feel so privileged, when things don't go my way I blame it on this country. 

Sometimes, I actually think that life should be easier here because we are "trying to serve." Why does our electricity go out, and our heater explode and our light fixture shatter? I know that's ridiculous, but it's in my heart. 

So I'm thankful that the Lord lets me be here, watching Him work, even though I am very undeserving of it. And I'm thankful for my husband who always forgives me without thinking twice. 

***Halloween here is actually a "new" thing. They have just begun to catch on. It is a bit different in that EVERYONE is a monster looking creature. They don't really change up the costumes. They put face paint on and have parties. A few kids stopped by to trick or treat...they asked for money. They are kind of getting the idea? 

****Today at the youth meeting, Cory is speaking on the story of Nicodemus. What does it mean to be born again? What does it mean to be born of the spirit? We are discussing these things this morning as we drink coffee in our kitchen. His audience is an ideal group in many ways. They have heard the gospel. The basics. Many of them have grasped onto what they have learned. Many of them return because they still have questions. On Tuesday, none of the girls in my bible study knew that the Holy Spirit came to live in a believer. They didn't know what changed them. So today, when Cory talks about being born again of the spirit and walking in the light, much of it will be brand new. They have never heard this before. Sometimes we wish we knew how to relate to that. To this complete blank slate of spiritual understanding. 

****We can't believe we have almost been here 5 months. Sometimes it feels like it's been 5 years. Which is encouraging. Because we imagine what it will be like after we have been here 5 years. The relationships, the language, the experience. 

Thank you for your constant encouragement and support. We know we are never alone. Because of Christ and because of you. 

And they are so cute...