3 Years Ago

Cory and I first came to Albania in 2012. 

The first year, everything was new. 

The second year it felt like we were coming home. Of course we noticed new things and learned more about the country and the culture but that first wide eyed "shock" was gone. 

Last year we moved here and in living here, learned 1000's of things we never would have on a summer missions trip. 

Cory's parents are here this week for the first time and it's such a blast to show them around because it's as if we are reliving that first summer all over again. 

They are noticing and commenting on things I have long forgotten are weird, or different, or shocking. 

I'm sure in 10 years I will read the blogs from my first year and laugh at what I wrote about. 

Cory's mom has taken a ton of amazing pics of our family but also of Albanian life. Here are a few...

This is a section of the "Pazar." 

It smells of rotten cheese. And everyone wants you to buy their cheese. They even let you taste it. 

The plastic bottles of Fanta are actually filled with olive oil. 

I have yet to learn what many of those herbs are. 

This is what Cory and I call the Sheep swap meet. Every Thursday on this hill, there are hundreds of men and their sheep. And goats. They seem to be "swapping" them. As you drive by in both directions you pass shepherds herding their sheep, or driving them in a horse drawn cart or a beaten up truck. I've never seen anything like it. 

And this, I love. 

I love it because it means so much more to me after living here nearly a year, than it would have if I had seen it before that. 

That sweet old lady is a widow. 

Widows dress in all black after their husbands death. For the rest of their life. A lot of women here are widows for decades.

I didn't know that 3 years ago. 

These clothing shops surrounding her are owned by families. 

They all sell similar things. 

It is their livelihood. 

Every morning and every night they take everything out and put everything back. 

3 years ago I wouldn't have known the weight that lays in them selling a shirt or a pair of socks. 

3 years ago I didn't know any of the words I was hearing. Now I can understand what is going on around me. I recognize the numbers, the questions of "how much is this?" 

And if I had seen this picture without ever coming to Albania, 

I wouldn't be able to hear the shouts of the shopkeepers yelling out the prices of their goods, or the crunch of the gravel under everyone's feet. 

I wouldn't be able to smell the tobacco smoke, the Turkish coffee, or the mothball scent of the clothes. 

I wouldn't be able to feel the dust in the air, the humidity of the weather, or the cash in my hand that has become my only form of payment. 

And when I first came here 3 years ago, I had no idea how dear this place and these people would become to me. 

And I can't wait to know and to understand more. I can't wait until I hear every word. 

And I'm so thankful for how both of our parents have embraced our life here, supported us in every way imaginable and encouraged us with their words and prayers all along the way. 

And this....

what can I say? 

Taliah Pauline Cramer

Time flies when there's a newborn in your home. 

The days and nights blur together. 

Hours fly by like seconds. 

So, nearly a month has flown by and I will pick up where I left off...

Although we had been nervous about our time in Tirana, we ended up having a blast. It was a special time with Shiloh as a family of  3. There is a lot to discover in Tirana and we spent much of our time walking and exploring. 

So while we were ready and waiting, we enjoyed the time in between. 

While there were some crazy moments in the hospital, Taliah's birth itself could not have gone smoother. I was only in labor for 5 hours. We ended up arriving to the hospital 45 minutes before she was born. 

And...that is why we spent the month in Tirana. We actually wouldn't have made it to the hospital if we had been in Pogradec! 

The greatest challenge was the language barrier and the fact that I wanted a natural labor. The doctor had a bit of a different philosophy.

In the end, I agreed to "collaborate" by being silent and monitored during the end of my labor. Probably the hardest 45 minutes of my life. 

It is unnerving when you are being talked about but you don't know what is being said. 

And the fact that I came in at the end of my labor absolutely freaked the doctors and nurses out. 

There was a distinct moment when I remember thinking "This is very different..." 

We had just arrived at the hospital, Cory and Melodie were stopped at the entrance to put on surgery garb, and I was literally pushed into the delivery room by myself. 

I could barely open my eyes from all of the florescent lights, there were 4 gloved, masked nurses staring wide eyed at me. One was trying to stick an IV in my arm while I tried to pace through a contraction. Another was trying to make me sit on the bed. 

I picked up words but not complete sentences. I legitimately didn't know what was going on. 

The doctor was snapping his gloves on without a word. 

Finally, Melodie came in and was able to talk with the doctor and express my wishes. I could not have done it without her. Knowing someone knew what I wanted, was able to communicate that and was fighting for me was huge. 

20 minutes after the doctor told me I wasn't close and needed an epidural (which I refused because I'm terrified at the idea of having a needle in my spine)...

Taliah was born at 10:15 pm on her due date, healthy and beautiful. I was able to leave the hospital less than 24 hours later. 

In the end, the doctor said it was "a perfect birth." 

I've recovered quickly and she is gaining weight and eating well. 

I'm so thankful and relieved and feel very blessed and undeserving. 

We are back home in Pogradec and getting used to life as a family of 4. 

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement as always. I know that people were praying for me and for us all along the way. 

Taliah Pauline Cramer 7 lbs. 8 oz. 19 inches long

Melodie :) 

My Dad was able to visit a few days after Taliah was born. We had the best time with him and Shiloh sure does think he's the best! Love you Dad! 

Here we are in an alley in Tirana trying to get Taliah's passport. It was quite a long day if you can't tell...

I really love these girls :) 

The girls in my bible study came a few days after Taliah was born and had this beautiful cake made for her. They brought hand made gifts and were so excited to celebrate with us. 

Now, Pogradec is coming alive in so many ways for us. Not only is the weather warming up but our life is so much more full here than it was a year ago when we arrived. 

We are so thankful to be home and so excited for what the next months will hold. 

Baby in Albania

No...she's not here yet. 

But I wrote a blog the other day while I was waiting for the doctor and somehow lost it...

But it went something like this: 

I have been waiting "10-20 minutes" for the last two hours. 

I'm not really sure what's going on except for that the doctor had been doing "caesareans" all morning. They are never referred to as C-sections. They are sometimes called "incisions." 

About an hour ago he walked up to me and said, "Any problems?" 

"No, everything is good." I said with a smile and started to say more as he responded with: 

"Then you will have to wait." 

And he walked away. 

He is actually a really nice man, a great doctor and he wasn't being rude. Literal translation provides some pretty good one liners. 

When I call him, he answers the phone by saying "Talk to me." 

At my last appointment I was given a paper by a lady and told to "Give it to the girls..." I wasn't sure who the girls were but assumed she meant the nurses. 

I am told to eat chocolate before my ultrasounds so the baby "will make party, party." 

Last week the nurse walked in and all she said was, "Take off your clothes." 

Um....ok. 

Most of the time I find myself strapped or hooked up to something before I really know what is going on. 

They don't know how to explain what they are doing in English, so they just don't. I guess that's more my fault than theirs. I'm in their country. 

I have also had to get used to the fact that everything is "ok." "Ok" means good. It doesn't mean there is something lacking. 

My blood is ok. 
The baby is ok. 
The glucose test was ok. 
My weight is ok. 

Ok. 

The only thing better than "ok" is "very ok" which is only used by certain people in certain contexts. 

Shiloh was born at UCSD. I had a midwife, a doula, and a nurse who had given birth to her son at a birth center. Cory was there the entire time. I walked around for the majority of my labor. I didn't have any pain meds. I guess I was more afraid of having a needle in my back than of the contractions. I'm pretty sure that makes me delusional but oh well. 

In Albania, scheduled c-sections are very common. Men are not present during labor.  Actually, the mother-in-law is the only person present. They have probably never heard of a midwife. And when I say I don't want medicine they will probably pin me down and shove the needle in me...well not really. 

So, in many ways, even though I have already given birth, I have a feeling this experience is going to be drastically different. 

The communication will drastically drop. 
The bedside manner will somewhat be lost in translation. 
The routine procedures are not very similar. 

Is this scary? 

Sure! There have been moments where I have been gripped by fear...

Or "what ifs?" as Cory calls them. But really, that would happen no matter where I was. I'm just really good at thinking of "what if?" scenarios. If there was a "what if?" game, I would win. 

So, 

No matter where I am, it will hurt. 
No matter who is there, she will come out. 
No matter what happens, God is sovereign. 

And I happened to read these words of Jesus in John this morning,

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for the joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21 

A very true, simple reality. 

This really sums up all that goes into child bearing. 

There are many more words that can be said in relation to labor and delivery but this seems to keep the main thing, the main thing. And I am attempting to block out everything else from my mind. 

So, any day now Taliah will be here! 

But for now, we are soaking up these spring days with Shiloh. 

I am very thankful for time to rest and prepare. 

Thank you for your constant encouragement and prayers. They mean so much to us! 

And here is the Queen who's reign is soon coming to an end...and she has no idea. 

New "Firsts"

We are now in Tirana! 

Last pic as a family of 3 at our house in Pogradec!

Officially waiting for the birth of Taliah. We are so thankful for the friends that have let us use their apartment for this time!

All packed up...for who knows how long...

The weeks leading up to our arrival here were crazy and full. 

Shiloh got some kind of virus with a fever that got up to 104. That was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. Definitely of our time here in Albania. 

It is a helpless feeling to not be able to just go to the ER. 

The health care system in Albania and especially in Pogradec is full of corruption, lack of education and lack of funds. 

Every night when we put Shiloh to bed we pray that we he will "take care of her in ways that we can't." 

Its almost easier to trust that God is in ultimate control when you have no other choice. You have nothing else to fall back on. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but its true. 

Then I got what Shiloh had, minus the fever. I'm surprised my brains didn't come out my nose from all the sneezing I did. Or Taliah, she could've come out too. 

Arriving in Tirana was a bit of a shock to our systems. We hadn't thought a ton about what it would be like and when we got here we realized what a routine we have gotten into in Pogradec. 

We know where to buy produce and meat. 

We walk everywhere. We know where everything is. We have relationships. 

I know where to put things away in my kitchen. Everything has a place. 

We have schedule. We have a language teacher. We have a home. 

It is much more of a "small town" feel in Pogradec. 

Now we feel completely out of place. 

Tirana has 1 million people seemingly stacked on top of each other. 

The traffic is insane. There is no parking. Every street dead ends. 

It is chaos. 

It's also a little weird to think of welcoming a baby "home" to someone else's home. 

The day after we arrived here was Easter. 

We have had some pretty amazing Easter's together. 

The year we were in Israel, we woke up and watched the sun rise over the Mount of Olives. 

We went to an Easter service at the Garden Tomb. 

We read the Resurrection account in the middle of Jerusalem. 

Easter is my favorite Sunday of the year. My favorite "holiday." 

He IS risen! The one ultimate reality in my life that truly matters. 

I love the music and the colors and the flowers and the spirit of celebration. 

And I would be lying if I didn't say I love the Easter outfits. 

And this year, I didn't put on a new Easter dress. 

And it felt wrong. 

How embarrassing. 

I've come to associate Resurrection Sunday with a new outfit. 

And with food. 

No honey baked ham here. 

And to top it all off it rained all day. 

We ate noodles with tomato sauce from a jar. 

I sneezed non stop. 

We didn't celebrate with family or even with all the dear people who have become family here in Albania.

We went to a church we had never been to. 

We forgot to get a family pic. 

I kinda felt sorry for myself. 

Of course then I felt guilty and then overwhelmed with what I have been given...

My wonderful husband. My precious healthy daughter. Another one nearly here. 

My Savior. The Word. 

The ministry we are blessed to be a part of. The lives we have watched change. 

The reality of the Resurrection. The truth within the words "He is Risen!" 

And I wanted a new outfit and a Honey Baked Ham. 

We live streamed the Grace Community Church Easter Service and ended the day feeling so encouraged and blown away by the gospel. 

And I don't think I will ever forget this first Easter in Albania. As cliche as it sounds I was reminded of "what is truly important" and for that I am very thankful.

We are starting to figure out life here in Tirana and are getting so excited to meet our new little girl! 

Could be today...could be 2+ weeks. 

Another first here in Albania! 

Shiloh's first time in the Nursery...she was thrilled. New toys and treats? What could be better??

Days in Greece

Language learning update: 

The other day I meant to ask the man at the "health food" store where his wife was. 

Instead, I asked him where MY wife was. 

He lost it. 

And here is a picture of what we are working with....

The right side is the Albanian equivalent of "woman" and "women." 

This should include the possessive English forms as well...but still...

Shoot me. 

I also went to coffee with two girls in my bible study who barely speak English. It was a great test of my Albanian speaking skills. At one point I was trying to say a word in Albanian but I said it so poorly they thought I was speaking English. When they realized what I had actually said they busted up laughing...the whole hour was pretty humbling. 

This week has been very full which is making the end of the pregnancy fly by. Saturday marked a month until Taliah's due date! 

On Wednesday Melodie and I took the babies to Greece to get their vaccinations.

Do you wish you could go to Greece for your baby's vaccinations? 

Let me enlighten you a bit...

***Let me preface this by saying that I am EXTREMELY thankful that we can go somewhere relatively close for this kind of health care, and that I realize there are many worse things than this kind of trip. I am slightly exaggerating in this account...:) 

I am not going to a Greek island. The doctor's office is not on the beach. Kastoria is not a "tourist" town. 

I wake up Shiloh early so we can get a good start. Shiloh DOES not like being woken up...don't know where she gets that :) 

It is a little over a 2 hour drive if everything goes smoothly at the border. You lose an hour because Greece is an hour behind Albania. All the little stores and offices are also closed from 1-5 pm so we have to get everything done in the morning. Greeks know how to nap! 

In the winter there are usually few problems at the border. But, we have waited there for 3+ hours more than once. 

The doctor's "office" is in the same room she sees the kids in. So there are stacks of papers and books and then a medical bed adorned with toys. I'm always wondering if a sick kid was just holding the plastic green dinosaur that Shiloh is in love with. 

The doctor is a sweet lady who speaks "ok" English. But she's not very calm...Shiloh is not highly fond of her. Especially when she rattles toys in her face and sticks the cold stethoscope on her chest. Or when she shoves one of those tongue sticks (what are those called?) in her mouth to check her teeth. 

She weighs and measures Shiloh while I try to convert the kilo's and cm into pounds and inches. I could be wrong but it seems as though Shiloh is in the 95% for both. I don't know how that happened. 

I then try to understand which shots Shiloh is supposed to get. The schedule is different than the American one, and the Greek one seems to be changing all the time. The names are different as well as the dosages. 

She gets her shots and I hold my screaming 22 lb. chunk while the doctor writes up a Greek receipt, crossing out our names 6 times trying to spell it right. 

Once the babies are all vaccinated, our trip to Kastoria has just begun. 

There are some stores there that have grocery items we can only get in Greece. 

There is basically one parking lot for the main part of town so we lug the babies around from store to store collecting random items like brown rice and yummy cheese. 

There are no drive throughs so we sit down and try to eat while Shiloh runs around dropping pita bread on the dirty floor and then picks it up and eats it before my 9 month pregnant self can stop her. 

By this time Shiloh is late for her nap and has gone into what can be called "spazz mode." 

Then we go to last store where I always get chicken and where you have to bag your own groceries. 

Shiloh has normally lost it by this point. 

This particular time I had Shiloh sitting (wailing) in the parking lot while I bagged groceries. I pulled one of the whole chickens I had bought out of the cart and realized I was actually touching the bare chicken wing. The plastic wrap had come undone. 

This is like my worst nightmare. I am deathly afraid of raw chicken.Don't ask me why. It's like a weird thing I have. 

I spray the counters and the sink down with antibacterial spray and run boiling hot water over everything every time I cook chicken. 

Cory always tells me he's never met anyone who's gotten salmonella poisoning...I tell him he should be thankful that it won't be us that gets salmonella poisoning. 

When my brother Kyle was here he ragged on me for buying chicken in Greece and told me I should adapt to the culture and start killing and plucking my own chickens. 

NOT A CHANCE. 

So I stock up every time we go to Greece. Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy because of the 40 chicken breasts I have in my cart. 

I was going to take the unpackaged chicken back in and try to get a new one but I couldn't carry Shiloh and the chicken in without touching the chicken. 

My plan was to wait until Melodie got out and then leave Shiloh in the car while I took the chicken back in. 

I set the chicken on the curb by the car and ran back to put the cart away and check for something else in the store. 

When I came out a few minutes later, there were 10 pigeons and a crow picking at the raw chicken. 

Shiloh nearly leapt out of my arms "oooooohhhhhinnngg" very loudly at her newfound friends. She's obsessed with animals of any kind. 

Now I definitely was not going to return the chicken. 

I gagged and buckled Shiloh into the car. 

I grabbed some wipes, shooed the pigeons away and carried the mutilated chicken to the trash bins. 

I'm pretty sure I accidentally dropped it in the recycling one. 

Yum. 

We then begin our drive home. 

By this time Shiloh was too tired to sleep and spent the first 30 minutes letting me know how unhappy she was about how her day had gone...poor baby. 

We get home just before dark and unload our groceries trying to keep the babies asleep as long as possible 

So, when I think of Greece, I think of shots and chicken and meltdowns in the grocery store :)