Why Missionaries Are Always Asking For Money

I'm getting on a soapbox, read at your own risk :) And its long.

Since there are 5 of us now, we don't often get to sit by each other on planes. So Cory and I each take one of the girls depending on the layout of the plane. It's like "Bye see you in 8 hours...and good luck."

We kind of cause people to do a double take when they see us. I like to think its because my kids are cute but lets just be honest, we have 3 babies, 4 overflowing back packs, bottles, baby dolls, a little bed for Jude, and normally we are both carrying a hot Starbucks in airports, because, what's one more thing?  And we are traveling internationally. What possessed us to think an 8-13 hour flight was a good idea? That's kind of the look we get.

This has led to some interesting conversations with the people we are sitting next to.

On one of our flights Cory sat next to a lady that started asking him why we live in Albania and about our ministry.

Then, in a thick New York accent she went on to say, "Yea I give money to a non profit in India."

"They help out stray dawgs."

...

"And I've always thought, you know, I give money to that, I really should go there and just help out, donate my time. You know all those poor dogs..."

Yes lady, you really should do that.

I mean I could go on about that for pages, but I might offend some of you dog people.

But here is my point: everyone is passionate about something.

There are a lot of people out there that give to something. That are and want to be a part of something that they believe is greater than themselves.

Unbelievers donate their money to different causes.

And as Christians we are also called to give our money to support the church and we are also called to be a part of God's global mission whether that means going or sending.

And a lot of believers understand this. They understand that if they can't go, they should send.

So, as a missionary, a common question we get asked is,

"Are all your needs met?"

A legitimate question.

A well intended question.

What I am assuming people are asking when they ask us this is, "Are you struggling? Do you have enough money to pay your bills and take care of your family?"

More literally.

Are you eating? Are you clothed?

Again, a well meant question. A question I am thankful people ask.

And I am thankful that I can say, "Yes our needs are met."

But that answer leaves us and our ministry in somewhat of a predicament.

It's an incomplete question.

The answer could potentially allow people to walk away feeling like they are "off the hook" or like their money would be better spent somewhere else. Like perhaps helping stray dogs in India...

And here is the reality of it:

Missionaries are always asking for money.

Organizations are always asking for money.

Non profits are always asking for money.

YOUR money.

I'm going to speak on behalf of missionaries. Which is a broad word with many different connotations that paints many different pictures in peoples minds.

So I could use the word "missionary" loosely. Because, as I have seen over the years, this can indeed mean many different things.

So remove any negative connotation or stereotype that comes to your mind when you think of missionary because that's not who I am talking about. I'm not talking about the ones who are lazy, mission-less or self appointed martyrs.

I am talking about the mission driven, gospel focused, culture studying, hard working kind. The real missionaries, we will say.

So, there are two reasons, "missionaries" will ask for money:

1. Their NEEDS are NOT being met. And this must be more typical than I knew. If it wasn't I don't think so many people would ask us. It means that the missionaries truly are struggling financially. They don't have enough money to "do life." Not enough people are supporting them.

This might be because, unfortunately, the fit all of those negative stereotypes and people are wary of supporting them. And rightly so.

Or, they could be real missionaries but they lack either the skill or ability to rightly communicate what they are doing, or the support basis that they need to have their needs met.

2. The ministry is MORE than the missionary's NEEDS.

That is, the cost of the ministry is more than the cost of the missionaries needs.

This is the second reason missionaries are always asking for money. And this is what I want to focus on.

You are not simply supporting missionaries to live in another country.

There is more than rent, and bills, and groceries and education.

What else is there?

Well I'm glad you asked, I'll tell you :)

When we moved to Albania 3 years ago, there were 20 boys meeting in a small room every week studying the Bible together.

Since then, the Lord has grown His church here and we meet every Sunday with about 120 people on average.

Their is a high school meeting, a Jr. High meeting, a children's meeting, a Sunday service.

There are currently 7 Bible studies happening on a weekly basis.

We have moved buildings 2 times and are currently growing out of the one that we are in.

So who pays for that?

Who pays for the church rent?
Who pays for the heating system?
Who pays for the music equipment?
Who pays for the High School outreach event?
Who pays for the crayons in the children's Sunday school room?
Who pays the pastor?
Who pays the high school intern?
Who pays for groceries for the family in need?

We do. Cory and I.

So, YOU do.

Ok, so it's a church plant. That makes sense.

But when will the church be self sustaining?

That is the next question.

And the answer is NEVER.

Our church will never survive on its own.

So what are we doing wrong?

In regards to this, nothing.

Our church will never survive without the support of the American church.

Let me say that again.

Our church will never survive, grow or thrive without the financial support of the American church.

Why?

Because its an impoverished country that is still trying to rise out of the ashes of 50 years of communism, dictatorship, and atheism.

If you want to ask who's needs aren't being met it is the people we are ministering to every day.

Most of the people we know are struggling to make ends meet.

We have helped pay for surgeries, rent, hospital bills, groceries, schooling and the list goes on.

Many of them, our friends and students, have fathers in other countries, sending a small amount of money back to their family. These fathers are gone for months, sometimes years on end. Their moms work hard to keep it together while they are gone, doing odd jobs and asking for help from family members.

Many of them have potentially life threatening diseases or problems, but lack the funds to get the surgery or prescriptions they need.

Many of them live in unfinished homes that are freezing in the winter.

And because of the infrastructure of this country, it is very hard to break this cycle. There is nowhere else to go to better your life. Except to leave Albania altogether.

Which is the dream of most.

And of course there are people in your church like that. But not most. And often times, there is a way out. Or it is a hard season of life. Not the entirety of their life.

So, those people, our people, will never be able to give enough to pay the church rent.

They will never be able to give enough to support a pastor. A teaching pastor or a worship pastor or a high school pastor.

They will never have enough to fund outreach events.

They will never have enough to send kids to summer camp.

They will never have enough for curriculum or materials.

They will never have enough for a building.

They will never have enough for a pastor.

So now I'm am going to narrow it down a bit more.

Now, there REAL missionaries serving in places where the spiritual work is HARD. People don't readily accept Christ. They are closed to the gospel. It takes years of friendship for them to even consider going to church. Those places exist. The work is slow and it takes a long time to see fruit. They have bible studies or home churches that grow very slowly over the course of decades.

So maybe those missionaries don't need a lot of "extra" funds. They don't need to pay the church rent. Because the church grows very slowly.

BUT, there are also real missionaries in places (like Albania) where the fruit is literally weighing the branches down. The tree is starting to bend because of the weight of it. There are new buds every day and they are growing at an exponential rate.

And I'm talking about REAL fruit. I'm talking about REAL truth. REAL change. REAL salvation and sanctification.

And there are places were the missionaries can't keep up.

If they simply had the resources, they could bear more fruit for Christ,

The harvest is plentiful.

It just needs to be harvested.

So here's my line again: The ministry is more than the missionary's needs.

That is, the COST of the ministry is more than the cost of the missionary's needs.

And that's why some missionaries are always asking for money.

If they had more they could do more, they could reach more.

So are OUR needs met?

I am so thankful and blessed to say that they are by the sacrificial giving of so many of you.

But do we need more money?

Always.

I think we will for a long time.

Because we see all there is to do.

We see people every day that could be reached for Christ.

We see new ways they could be reached.

And as many of you have heard we are raising money for a church building.

Why?

First and most of all because we are growing out of the building we are currently in and something bigger does not exist unless we buy and don't rent.

Secondly, because of all the ways we could reach people through it.

If we had a medical clinic where the doctors were educated and honest do you know how many people would be drawn into the life of the church and get saved?

If we had a soup kitchen for hungry families do you know how many people we could share Christ with?

And this is true of any type of outreach. There are countries where people are hungry. Literally and physically.

So its like a simple math equation.

The more you reach, the more that get saved. I mean it sounds to simple but its just the reality of it. And maybe you have never seen or been in a place where that is true. So it sounds very confusing.

But it's simply true in this post communist, poor, lost country I live in as it is in many others.

And I'm not talking about anything extravagant. Not a top of the line medical clinic or a state of the art kitchen or a luxurious church foyer.

I'm talking about the basics.

And does Christ save even when the resources are few?

Absolutely.

Does God need medical clinics and outreach events to draw people to himself.

No.

But what is our job?

Our job is to reach as many people as we can.

Our responsibility is to make sure as many people as possible have been touched with the light of the gospel.

Our duty is to be faithful, creative and work hard.

Because we don't know who God will save.

And we don't know what He will use to draw them to himself.

And we don't want to say "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body" James 2:16.

And here is the reality. Here is why you have to forgive me for getting on a soapbox.

Because this is my passion.

Albania. Yes.

But more than that I am speaking for all the countries and missionaries and places where the harvest is plentiful.

All the ministries that lack resources to reach people.

And what can be hard about raising funds is that people think you are raising money for yourself.

But what I am trying to say is that fundraising for missionaries is so much more than that in many cases.

And I know that you can't make people passionate about what you are passionate about.

I will never be passionate about stray dogs in India.

I know that everyone will not give to the ministry in Albania.

Do I think they should?

YES!! Because it is my passion!

But I also know that's not realistic. I know that there are so many people sacrificing and giving to what God is doing all over the world. I know that there are so many missionaries passionate about what they are doing, that need resources.

But I do believe it is the job of the highly resourced, equipped and rooted American church to take on the needs of international churches in a greater way.

I do believe that people need to understand that you are supporting a MINISTRY not just a missionary.

We are not just raising money to live in Albania.

We are raising money to expand, grow and strengthen the ministry and church of Albania.

Right now, that means a church building.

Next year, it might mean a camp ground.

The year after that it might mean an interns salary.

We are watching God do something incredible here.
And we think everyone should be a part of it.

I truly believe the ministry needs of international missionaries should be on the radar of American church leadership.

Something they should cultivate as a church culture.

How can we support the MINISTRY of the missionaries we are supporting?

Maybe that means sending a specialized team to help with a building project.

Maybe that means sending more short term teams.

Maybe that means sending less short term teams and sending more money to missionaries.

Maybe that means hosting a fundraising event for a special project.

Maybe that means taking a special offering for a missions project.

Maybe that means providing training and equipping through a conference.

Maybe that means giving more as a church.

So.

If you aren't passionate about a global mission, find one.

If your church doesn't talk about missions, start a prayer night for missionaries around the world.

If you have never been on a missions trip to an impoverished country, go on one.

If you have never given to God's global mission. Give.

Whatever, you do, please do not in any way support any kind of non profit for any kind of animal anywhere in the whole wide world...

I am beyond thankful for the individuals and churches that give to the ministry in Albania.

I'm so excited to one day introduce to you, whether it be on earth or in heaven, the people you have been a part of reaching for Christ through your giving.

And, like many missionaries, will always need more. More money, more resources, more people.

So that there are more people of every tribe, nation and tongue worshiping Christ before the throne with us.

You Don't Know What You Don't Know

We have a lot to learn. 

In all areas of life. And there are areas where I know I need to learn. 

But there are also areas in life where I don't know what I don't know...sometimes until it is too late. 

Ok that was dramatic. 

And it is true, for anyone, anywhere. BUT, when you are a foreigner, living in a country that is not your own, this reality is simply magnified. 

We don't know things, that to everyone else, are common sense. 

We (Cory and I) know nothing about how to keep a house made of cement in a place where it snows...apparently. 

When we got home from America our ENTIRE closet was COVERED in mold. 

YES, mold. 

And I have an intense fear of mold. 

I read too many horror stories on the internet. 

So I walked in and saw that all of my shoes were covered in green fuzz. 

The closet reeked like a wet hamster cage. 

I slammed the door and stood there not knowing what to do. 

Finally I went back in to check our clothes. 

Fortunately they only smelled. No mold. 

The white cabinets were covered in blue green fuzz. The baseboards were black. 

I went to tell Cory. 

To my surprise I was actually pretty calm about. 

I guess I said the same thing in my last post. 

Maybe I am growing up or something. 

Or maybe we are just not surprised anymore. Like, my closet WOULD mold. 

And we are more capable of dealing with the issues here. 

So, over the last week I have washed nearly every article of clothing we both own. 

I don't know if I have mentioned before but our washing machine is probably 1/3 the size of most in America. And our dryer collects the water in a container that you have to dump out. For example, to dry a load of towels the other day, it took 4 hours. 

So needless to say, I have spent the greater part of my week doing laundry. Ironically, I made sure we went home with all of our clothes clean. I was really excited to go home and put everything away really fast...

And the hard part was that when it was washed and dried I still couldn't put it away. So we had clothes hanging up all over our house. 

We also had to breakdown and throw away our entire closet. So it is like a walk in closet but has cabinets, and drawers ect. 

We had to have the entire thing rebuilt. 

Then the outer walls had to be cleaned,the baseboards needed to pulled out to make sure there wasn't mold behind them. 

So. What did I not know? 

Well I went to church the next day after we got home and a bunch of people asked me if my house was wet.

I was like "How did you know?" 

And they acted like it was a stupid question. 

So apparently it is common knowledge that you don't leave doors closed in the winter. 

The combination of moisture in the air, cement walls and no airflow breeds mold. 

Now maybe some of you knew this as well. 

But in Southern California we hardly ever deal with wet mold. The weather was too warm and the air too dry. 

So every time I told someone what happened to our closet they acted like "Duh." 

Like, you left the door shut??

Our power also got shut off while we were gone so everything in my chest freezer went bad. I spent hours freezing blackberries last summer and they are all gone. 

Everything in my fridge also molded. 

There were also some kind of black bugs all over our house. 

Oh and I left wet towels in the dryer? 

Yes I'm so smart. 

Bless my sweet friends who came to my house before I got home and cleaned it from top to bottom. (the closet door was locked so we didn't know about that until we got home)

So when I say you don't know what you don't know, that's what I mean. 

We didn't know the etiquette for leaving our house in Albania for 4 months. 

But we definitely made some mistakes we won't make again. 

Later, Cory and I were talking about what happened and saying how if that had happened soon after we had moved here nearly 3 years ago, we would have been helpless. 

We wouldn't have known who to call about the closet. 

We wouldn't have been able to get it rebuilt so fast. 

It would have been much more of a hassle. 

And we just would have been more stressed out by the whole thing overall. 

I think in some ways we have passed the steepest part of a learning curve in living here.  

Instead of feeling hard it actually feels easy in many ways. 

I have never really been a mom in America. So it was actually much harder for me in America than living here. 

Yes everything there is more convenient in a lot of ways, but I haven't learned how to do it  in America. 

I've learned how to be a mom here. I've learned how to grocery shop. I've learned how to keep my kids busy. I've learned how to have my home filled with people. I've learned how to have a schedule and a routine. 

And honestly that was what was hard for me in America. I felt kind of lost. 

I was excited about all of the things I could cook, but I was overwhelmed by all the options. 

I loved all the fun places I could take my kids, but I couldn't establish a routine. 

The problem with ultra convenience is that it tricks you into thinking you can and SHOULD do more. 

Since everything takes less time, you feel the need to shove more into your day. 

To occupy yourself and your kids in a bigger way. 

Or at least that's how I feel. 

Now I am going on a tangent. 

I will write about this in another blog. The simplicity of our life. 

All that to say, while there were some disappointing surprises waiting for us at home, we are SO happy to be here. In fact, I think we were so happy to be home that we didn't really care about the little problems that were awaiting us. 

 We feel like we are right where we belong. 

We are so thankful for all of our relationships. 

We are so thankful for our church. 

We are so thankful for the life God has given us to serve here. 

We are thankful for all of you who support us.

And the reality is, we still don't know what we don't know. 

We will still encounter new and difficult things no matter how long we live here, or anywhere really. 

And by the way, I did get most of the mold off of my shoes...and am wearing them anyways. So yeah. 

Here are some pictures from the week which was also full of sweet friends: 

Flight Delay

So far our flight has been delayed 3 hours. 

First there was an air traffic delay. 

They said it was windy in Newark so the planes couldn't land normally. 

Everyone who had friends in Newark said that they said it was a nice sunny day. 

SO...

Then there was a problem with the airplane flaps. 

I don't know much about how airplanes work but I'm pretty sure the flaps are important. 

Taliah pooped her pants a couple of hours ago. 

Jude just decided to follow suite. 

I'm pretty sure there is poop on my pants. Jude's. Not mine. 

The man next to me smells like fish and vinegar. 

There is a full grown dog 2 aisles ahead of me. 

A dog. Not a puppy or a chihuahua. A dog. 

At this point we have missed both our connecting flights. 

So when people say 'how do the kids do flying?' The answer is relative. 

The actual flying is not a big deal. The kids get snacks and movies. They are in heaven. 

It's the actual travel process that can be a nightmare. 

We've been stuck in countless European cities with delayed flights and

 missed connections.

Oh and we're sitting in the back of the plane. 

The toilet flushes every couple minutes and everyone seems to congregate back here. 

At this point we have been 'traveling' for 6 hours and are only an hours drive away from where we started from. 

A couple of years ago I would probably be in tears. Worried about my kids lack of sleep. Worried that the airline won't cover the cost. Worried that the flaps are broken and we're all going to die. 

I'm not kidding. 

But now I kind of expect problems.
. 

I know we will survive. 

I mean unless the flaps are broken and we crash. 

So now we're off the plane. 

I passed another dog on my way off. What in the world? 

Shiloh thinks that they didn't clean the airplane good enough so it's not a good plane. 

She did get to go in the popkit (cockpit) so that's good news. 

I'm now in a long line to rebook my flight. 

Oh and by the way, it's United. 

The couple behind me is M A D. 

The girl said 'I would rather have to be dragged off a plane than go through this stuff.' Except she used a different word that started with s. 

No shortage of United jokes. 

Another dog just walked by. 

Something weird is going on here. 

Meanwhile the sun is shining and it's a beautiful day in Florida. 

All my kids are troopers. The girls spent a long time crawling between all the chairs. 

Jude is sleeping. 

I'll keep you filled in. 

It's been an hour and I'm still in line.

The dog lady is worried because her dog has to go to the bathroom. 

Is that what you say for a dog? 

Shiloh just walked up and I asked her what she ate and she said 'a dog.' Right in front of the dog lady. 

She just left to take him potty. 

I stood in that line for an hour and half and then another line for an hour and a half. 

So now it's been 11 hours. We just got to a hotel. 

And we didn't fly anywhere. 

Yes we are still right where we started.

Just starting the whole process over tomorrow. 

We did get on and off the plane so the girls at least think we went somewhere. 

And we don't have our bags. I have poop and spit up on me....

To my pleasant surprise I was actually the calmest person in line all day. 

I'm usually not. I've had my fair share of airport screaming matches. I'm not necessarily proud of it. It's just the truth. 

So I guess I'm learning. Learning how to be better at 'our life.' 

This is the reality of living in two worlds and two countries. 

It's happened before and it will happen again. 

And I love this little family of mine. I love doing this with Cory. 

It's just a bad day in the midst of my beautiful, blessed life. 

So we'll reset and start over again tomorrow. A little dirtier. 

Oh and Jude just spit up in my mouth.

For the kingdom.

JET LAG

How was the flight? 

I got asked this question a lot. I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. The total "flight time" from Albania to the west coast is about 15 hours not including layovers and driving to the airport. So it's a valid question. 

But I have a whole new outlook on traveling with kids. And I'm not including babies from the age of 5-16 months in this. They are wild cards and don't count because their sleeping schedules are important and forever changing during this time. Any other age. 

And here's what I've decided: An airplane is like a kids dream come true. I mean think about it. 

They get to watch movies for 11+ hours straight. 
They get to eat their favorite snacks. 
They get new and special toys that they don't normally play with. 
They don't have to nap. 
Mom and Dad play with and occupy they the entire time. 

I mean really. What do they have to complain about? 

The airport layovers where they make you run to your gate only for you to find out you missed the connection. Or the trek through the airport carrying 2 sleeping babies and all your stuff. Or the TSA who decides the pregnant mom with two kids is probably the one smuggling explosives. 

I'm not talking about THAT. I'm not talking about the airport. 

I'm talking about the flight itself. I mean honestly, I look forward to our next one. The girls had the time of their life and all I had to do was sit there, eat, and watch newly released movies. 

Now, the jet lag. That is what makes me want to never leave Albania for the rest of my life. 

Not just jet lag, but jet lag with babies, or toddlers, or children. 

And let me tell you I have NEVER experienced real jet lag in my entire life until this last trip. I could sleep on the plane, arrive at my destination, stay up for a few hours and then proceed to sleep the whole night. 

But let me tell you what the symptoms of jet lag are according to Mayo Clinic: 

• Disturbed sleep — such as insomnia, early waking or excessive sleepiness
• Daytime fatigue
• Difficulty concentrating or functioning at your usual level
• Stomach problems, constipation or diarrhea
• A general feeling of not being well
• Mood changes

That's where you really need to weigh your decision to fly across the world. 

They say it takes about a day for every hour of time change. So that's 9 DAYS. 

We woke up at 2 or 3 AM for about a week. Or rather, Shiloh did. If ever I thought "I love my kid, but I don't really like them," it was last week when we were experiencing jet lag. 

IT WAS HORRIBLE. 

And the biggest mistake I made was giving them a nap during the day. 

They're tired. They're not just tired, they're exhausted. They are barely functioning. 

They need a nap. I thought. 

But, unfortunately their time clock was so off that catching up a little bit during the day, gave them what they needed to pop out of bed at 2 AM every morning. 

Yes. 2 AM. And because my time clock was off, when I was woken up, I couldn't fall back asleep. That meant making breakfast at 3 AM because we were all starving. 

So while all of Albania was out cold, we were watching Cinderella, dressing up, eating bacon and calling family in America. 

Then, by the time it is actually day you are so exhausted that you are good for nothing. 

But you know that sleeping will just mess you up more. 

So you kind of stay up all day in this half awake zombie mode. 

Finally, I decided I had had enough. 

Shiloh woke up at 3 AM and didn't nap ALL day long until I put her to bed at 6:30. 

One of the longest days of my life. 

I did everything I could to occupy her and keep her happy. She probably watched 3 hours of Minnie Mouse. But at least she was awake? We went on a 2 hour walk. We dressed up. We painted about 15 paintings. We went to a play place. We ate as often as possible. 

She was constantly on the verge of an epic melt down. So was I. 

And that was the night we all slept. 9 glorious hours. 

They fell asleep at 6:30 and we fell asleep at 7. 

Like honestly, it was almost as bad, if not worse than having a newborn. And no one can stone me for saying that because I've had 2 newborns. It was THAT bad. I cried at one point and I'm pretty sure Cory almost did. Maybe. 

I've never been so thankful to sleep through the night. 

So now we finally feel like we have our life back. 

For about 6 weeks before we leave for America again. 

But now I know the trick. A no nap day. A longggggg no nap day. Totally pays off in the end. 

Home

We came home last Friday after spending two weeks in America. 

Yes home. And that's what it feels like here in Pogradec. Home.

I can honestly say now, I feel more comfortable here in some ways than I do in America. 

And it's really weird. 

I walked into the grocery store the first or second day we arrived in California and stood staring at the Barbecue sauce for way too long. I didn't even need barbecue sauce. But there were SO many all I could do was stare. 

I knew Cory would want cereal but when I went to get one I couldn't pick one out. There were too many choices and I got overwhelmed and walked away. 

If I heard someone say that I would probably think, "That's dumb you lived there your whole life." But alas, it happened to me. 

It was weird to hear English everywhere I went. I actually did a double take at two ladies in a store because I was surprised they were speaking English...

We went to a party and Cory told me he was going to walk in and greet everyone individually first before he started talking to anyone and I couldn't stop laughing. 

That is Albanian. You walk into a room, shake hands with every person and ask them how they are. That's all. 

It would be like him walking into a party and saying "Hi how are you?" to each person while shaking their hand and then moving on to the next one after they said "Good." 

I got really annoyed at stop signs and red lights and I had to remind myself that I couldn't pass people who were going to slow on a two way street. 

I didn't eat half as much food as I had planned on because my stomach couldn't handle it. 

I was mesmerized by commercials on TV. 

I had a hard time sleeping at night because there were no semi's rumbling past our house. It was too quiet.

And now we are home. 

But to everyone here, we just went home. We are foreigners. We are not Albanian. 

So, again we find ourselves suspended in the middle of two very different worlds. 

Two worlds that I love with my whole heart. 

Albanians always ask us, "Where is it better? Here or America?" 

I don't even know how to answer a question like that. They are really asking, "Why in the world are you here?" 

And there are so many different realms on which the answer to that question could be measured. 

Physical, spiritual, emotional. 

My family is in America. Shiloh and Taliah's aunties and uncles and cousins. And there is nothing that can replace that. And there is nothing like seeing the joy on your child's face as they laugh with their grandparents and play with their cousins. And it's in those moments that my heart is also filled with joy but broken in half at the same time. Because those moments are rare. But they are so precious. 

But our life is here. Our hopes and dreams and goals and plans are here. Our tears and sweat and trials and triumphs are here. And because of that we are filled with contentment and peace. 

And thankfulness. Thankful for the short, unplanned visits. Thankful for the love of family and friends. Thankful for the relationships we have here. Thankful for growth and understanding in this culture. Thankful for the culture we came from. 

And today I am thankful that I feel I don't belong in either of these worlds. 

I'm thankful that America doesn't feel like home because it makes this place the Lord has brought us feel more like it. 

And in the end I know we're not home here either and tomorrow I might feel just as lost and confused as the day I did when we arrived here almost 2 1/2 years ago. And I'm thankful for that too. 

Because it keeps me dependent, and humble and trusting in Jesus. 

And that's all I got. But soon I will write about our actual home that we are hopefully moving into by the end of the month!

Shiloh is excited too as she told me today that she "can't wait for our new house to be born." 

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And this has got to be one of the best pics ever.